EMPTY :: Friday, October 31, 2008, 15:42
Although I didn't go for your funeral, but god bro will visit you......
Mernel....... be happy.......
My heart really aches........
Today, after a month, still broke down......
Mernel's case just make me tear......
It feit like it just happen yesterday......
I nearly went insane......
was feeling quite sad...... very sad about it......
At first did not want to talk about it......
but no matter who tried to cheer me up , it can't be happened......
because it will always be in my mind......
like a fresh wound bleeding.......
nothing can cure it......
I feel like the world is ending soon....... for me.......
I don't know how long can I survive......
Really don't know.......
I really feel like going insane......
Because I lose too much
Losing too much..... to continue.......
Argh....................
Really turning insane.....
Can someone help me......
I don't know would I be like Gina, she broke down the moment she heard the news and nearly turned insane, she got admitted into a few hospitals including IMH ......
Need to meet up with them soon......
........
I might not end up there but......
If I don't turn insane, then I will be......
gone to a place where mernel is.......
need to fufill what I have not really done......
Really..........
be gone- all troubles gone......
how good will it be......
sorry if I had offend anyone, but I hope you will forgive me because I will be leaving the world soon......
to be in a place very beautiful......
very beautiful......
When I'm gone, I hope everyone will continue their life as usual......
you might ask me to do the same.....but..... I really lost too much......
the pain in my heart is very unbearable.......
very unbearable......
I really don't know how long can I hold on.......
feel like taking an eternal nap......
to be asleep eternally......
mernel......
I really hope you could rest in peace......
I'm very tired.......
very tired......
I want to take a rest......
to take a peaceful nap......
here, I want to tell Mr Yeo
"Thank you for teaching me these years.... sorry for not being able to keep my promise because it is very difficult to continue to move on when the wound is very big and it will always bleed, it will bleed until all the blood is gone, when there is nothing to be bled out.......
feeling really sorry"
To Mrs Thomas: " sorry for not keeping my promise but I really cannot hold on longer...... initially it felt a little better but it got worse...... really worse..... I am really sorry......"
To everyone that I've offended:" I hope you can forgive me, because I'm going to aplogise to you now..... I'm sorry that I've offended you but I really hope you'll forgive me...... forget and forgive please....."
Finally, sorry everyone, but the wound is bleeding very profusely........ I can't hold it any longer........
........
I bid farewell first.... I don't know when will I be gone..... or go insane, but I really hope everyone can forgive me.......
Mernel.......
don't be afraid......
god bro is coming........
my good little god sister.......
This song is dedicated to you:Fall for you by Secondhand serenade
This is also how I'm feeling.... the song describes my feelings perfectly
"The best thing about tonight's that we're not fighting
Could it be that we have been this way before
I know you don't think that I am trying
I know you're wearing thin down to the core
But hold your breathe
Because tonight will be the night
That I will fall for you
Over again
Don't make me change my mind
Or I won't live to see another day
I swear it's true
Because a girl like you is impossible to find
You're impossible to find
This is not what I intended
I always swore to you I'd never fall apart
You always thought that I was stronger
I may have failed but I have loved you from the start
Oh, But hold your breathe
Because tonight will be the night
That I will fall for you
Over again
Don't make me change my mind
Or I won't live to see another day
I swear it's true
Because a girl like you is impossible to find
It's impossible
So breathe in so deep
Breathe me in
I'm yours to keep
And hold on to your words
Cause talk is cheap
And remember me tonight
When you're asleep
Because tonight will be the night
That I will fall for you
Over again
Don't make me change my mind
Or I won't live to see another day
I swear it's true
Because a girl like you is impossible to find
Tonight will be the night
That I will fall for you
Over again
Don't make me change my mind
Or I won't live to see another day
I swear it's true
Because a girl like you is impossible to find
You're impossible to find"
It all ended in a teardrop. Empty
