EMPTY :: Saturday, January 31, 2009, 22:46
123 days has passed......
nothing in my mind except you, sis
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EMPTY :: Thursday, January 29, 2009, 21:28
are you ok.......
M, I hope you will visit me.......
got to struggle with chem..... all the anti bonding stuff
can't get it in my head......my head full of thoughts of you...sis
taking a step at a time.....
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EMPTY :: , 03:25
Can't sleep, got many work to do......
121 days has passed.......
I really miss you......
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EMPTY :: Wednesday, January 28, 2009, 01:07
came and visit you...... but not for very long.....
how are you? hoping that you are doing great.....'
Just don't know who is the poor guy who hates Gina so much.....
some more from her class......
just hope that people don't bother Gina already......
she is already feeling hurt........
change for the better....don't hate people......
There is a song I'd listen on the radio and when I search for the lyrics.... everything is true about my situation.....
the song is- Everybody's changing by Keane
You say you wander your own land
But when I think about it
I don't see how you can
You're aching, you're breaking
And I can see the pain in your eyes
Says everybody's changing
And I don't know why
So little time
Try to understand that I'm
Trying to make a move just to stay in the game
I try to stay awake and remember my name
But everybody's changing
And I don't feel the same
You're gone from here
And soon you will disappear
Fading into beautiful light
Cause everybody's changing
And I don't feel right
So little time
Try to understand that I'm
Trying to make a move just to stay in the game
I try to stay awake and remember my name
But everybody's changing
And I don't feel the same
So little time
Try to understand that I'm
Trying to make a move
Just to stay in the game
I try to stay awake and remember my name
But everybody's changing
And I don't feel the same
Everybody's changing
And I don't feel the same
this is true..... my relationships with people are changing.....they are changing and I just want to remain the same......
why people just cannot accept who am I.........
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EMPTY :: Tuesday, January 27, 2009, 07:14
119 days has passed.....
I maybe will be visiting you today....
CNY was not bad.....
hope you went back and visit your parents......
will be missing you.......
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EMPTY :: Friday, January 23, 2009, 20:27
115 days had passed....
Today's performance sucks......
everything sucks.......
going to take things slowly........
wishing you were here....mernel
might be visiting you on CNY.......
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EMPTY :: Thursday, January 22, 2009, 19:23
114 days......
I am angry.......and feeling......melancholic
why everyone don't want to give me a chance?
I did something wrong, but you didn't correct me......
instead, you scream at me.....asking why I did the steps wrong......
I am angry....not at everyone, but myself.......
I can't seems to get everything right......
My Add maths, to choir stuff......everything I can't get it right......
why......
WHY AM I SUCH A FAILURE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
WHY DON'T ANYONE GIVE ME A CHANCE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Mernel....since you left, everything i did is always a failure.......
I tried to act as if I am okay in choir but it didn't work...........
everyone just hates me........
why........
why........
...........
Today choir practice didn't went well.......
everything didn't went well........
I MIGHT AS WELL LEAVE THIS WORLD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Just can't take it......
the pain........
losing you is already bad enough......
but everyone is CONDEMNING ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
the pain...... is really unbearable.......
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EMPTY :: Wednesday, January 21, 2009, 23:05
113 days had passed.....
I was listening to 'At the beginning' and the song made me feel very void.....
Without you..... everything feels like nothing....
the feeling of emptiness in my heart......
I really miss you.....
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EMPTY :: Tuesday, January 20, 2009, 23:26
112 days had passed......
Still counting......everything the same
Hoping that people will accept me as now, I am.......
Don't bother asking me about the past as I'm trying to conceal it.
Mernel..... I think I can visit you soon.....
I'll try....
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EMPTY :: Monday, January 19, 2009, 20:07
Will be doing a lot of work......
Whenever I think of you, my heart ache
But I promise you that I will stay strong and help Gina to stay strong too.
You will always be in our hearts......
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EMPTY :: , 04:27
Living life is a struggle......
nonetheless I will do it.....
for the sake of you......Mernel
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EMPTY :: , 00:29
111 days had passed......
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EMPTY :: Sunday, January 18, 2009, 23:48
Sometimes When We Touch - Dan Hill
You ask me if I love you
And I choke on my reply
I'd rather hurt you honestly
Than mislead you with a lie
And who am I to judge you
On what you say or do?
I'm only just beginning to see the real you
And sometimes when we touch
The honesty's too much
And I have to close my eyes and hide
I wanna hold you til I die
Til we both break down and cry
I wanna hold you till the fear in me subsides
Romance and all its strategy
Leaves me battling with my pride
But through the insecurity
Some tenderness survives
I'm just another writer
Still trapped within my truth
A hesitant prize fighter
Still trapped within my youth
And sometimes when we touch
The honesty's too much
And I have to close my eyes and hide
I wanna hold you til I die
Til we both break down and cry
I wanna hold you till the fear in me subsides
At times I'd like to break you
And drive you to your knees
At times I'd like to break through
And hold you endlessly
At times I understand you
And I know how hard you've tried
I've watched while love commands you
And I've watched love pass you by
At times I think we're drifters
Still searching for a friend
A brother or a sister
But then the passion flares again
And sometimes when we touch
The honesty's too much
And I have to close my eyes and hide
I wanna hold you til I die
Til we both break down and cry
I wanna hold you till the fear in me subsides
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EMPTY :: , 21:36
Mernel......remember I tell you that I composed 2 song for you? Now I put the 2 songs here and dedicate it to you.
The English song for you:
There was once a girl,
who was pure and innocent.
The smile that she had,
radiates through my heart
Every time I see her,
I’ll always brighten up
But now, everything is gone
How could this happen
She looked at her road
But is was filled with heavy stones
She tried to remove it……all alone.
But there was just too much,
Every now and then, every moment she was wearing down
Yet she stood so strong
and keep it silent
till the end……
Your departure is just too much
The pain in my heart, my soul
Is just unbearable, tearing me apart
The wound in my heart, my soul
Is bleeding, never healing
And I really miss you…… really love you
Your life is never perfect
Your road is never clear
No matter how much you tried
It’s not gonna change
But the bond that we had
Makes me feel the pain you are in
I failed to protect you
As I had promise you.
I remembered the day we met
I’ve promised you to be your guardian angel
To protect you from harm
But when I opened my eyes
You were already gone
Mernel…… I really miss you
Really love you since the day we met
Why did you have to leave us?
Do you know how much pain I’m in
I’m facing all the odds
Going against it……
It hurts me emotionally
It hurts me till I’m unable to stand
Your departure is just too much
The pain in my heart, my soul
Is just unbearable, tearing me apart
The wound in my heart, my soul
Is bleeding, never healing
And I really miss you…… really love you
Mernel…… I really miss you
Really love you since the day we met
Why did you have to leave us?
Do you know how much pain I’m in
Now the bond has faded
My life is completely…… shattered
The Chinese song for you:
(我真的不信你走了，
不信你已经走了。
你这样的突然走了，
就让干哥哥悲恸。
你留下了关心你的人，
你知道我们有多伤心。
关心你的人很多，
尤其是你的干哥哥。
你这样的一走了之，
我不愿接受你走的事实。
敏儿，快点回来
干哥哥就在这里等你
敏儿，快点回来
我们每个人在等你
你为什么要留下疼你的人，
尤其是干哥哥。
你可知道我有多悲恸，
我真的对不起你。
我没做我干哥哥的责任，
我就现在向你道歉。
我真的很后悔了，
请干妹快点回来。
敏儿，快到我身边，
你可知我有多么的想你。
敏儿，干哥哥想念你，
快回来，敏儿回来。
我知道我以前忽略了你，
干妹你能原谅我吗？
你这样的抛下关心你的人，
我们多赶到心痛。
敏儿，快点回来，
我们每个人都在等你回来。
你这样的走了，
干哥哥接受不了事实。
敏儿，快点回来，
回到我们的……胸怀。)
I miss you.....Mernel
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EMPTY :: Saturday, January 03, 2009, 01:06
Mernel..... today school wasn't good at all
It seems like without you, everything has become dull......
my head is cracking....... I feel like screaming
but I can't....... I need to hold it as long as possible......
Did you enjoy the countdown with Gina?
Hope you did.......
everyday when it is nearer to 30th of every month..... I feel like going insane......
my head is very pain......
in great pain......
but can't scream out loud......
trying to hold it back......
don't want to go IMH again......
I miss you Mernel.... really miss you......
the two songs I composed for you I will try to put it up tomorrow.....
if got time.......
2009 will never be the same again without you......
every 30th will always make me remember about 30/09/2008
I hate this day very much.......
that is why I can't stand the pain in my head....my heart and soul......
hope you are happy wherever you are......
I really miss you.....
I really love you......
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EMPTY :: Thursday, January 01, 2009, 00:04
Happy new year to you mernel......
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