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EMPTY :: Monday, August 31, 2009, 16:01

exams, test and any other obstacles we faced are just part of the battlefield, if we conquer them, we have no need to be afraid anymore

just came back home after school. yesterday was hectic, went out at 2130 and came homw only at 0000. was feeling so burnt out that after doing all the necessary things, i got k.o-ed to bed. now going to study ss and amath, forgotten my amath is this friday, must go full speed now, last two laps left.
went i went to the place, i kinda feel it's the right one, all the clues were present, except one. hope i can see that clue fast and soon. shall leave everything to God.
i don't know why but i feel that today is quite a nice day, hope everyday will be a nice day.
okay crapped too much here and now, got to do my revision soon, so i'll blog next time.

why must most things ends with a teardrop?

no matter who's in the battlefield, i'll be there to assist you whenever you need it. i'll always be prepared, standing by the shadows to await
you won't see this, definitely but i still got to say it, unless you know my pattern, or else you won't discover this. yinghan you're right, cheryl have indeed changed so much until now i can only recognise her a bit. if you're reading this cheryl, don't feel bias or angry. think, reflect. maybe whatever we two think is wrong others find it acceptable, but we wish you good, we meant good. though i don't get why am i causing you such pain, but i do hope you'll reflect. maybe it's my fault from the start, i made you love me and now, all the words spoken in the past you feel that i'm lying, but i can tell you i'm not, whatever i feel and told you in the past is true, only difference is it's the past. i told you before that this incident made me realise i love, so i do hope you understand. maybe i'm not fated to be your friend, but nonetheless i do hope we can be friends in future. take care cheryl.

It all ended in a teardrop. Empty

EMPTY :: Sunday, August 30, 2009, 17:56

sometimes all it takes is a glance

studied ss in the morning, now looking for info before going to some place i went last night. i need a little more clue!!!!! oh well, i'll just have to have some luck.
prelims, prelims and prelims, feeling the pressure increasing......sigh, now i have to "pia" all the subjects, all 8 of them. guess i'll be going gaga in this few weeks. o.o
okay, no much time left, need to go out and after that, study, if you see me online and need my help, feel free to ask me though i'll be afk-ing to do my revision.

always there till eternity, ily

It all ended in a teardrop. Empty

EMPTY :: Saturday, August 29, 2009, 17:27

/edited

looking ahead in time, sometimes it's clear, other times it's foggy

now studying ss, first paper for prelims which is next week. been studying bio as there's lots of things to remember.
looking ahead after o's, it seemed unsure how would it become, i guess i'll have to believe.......
but i'll be loosening up myself after o's, that's for sure.
actually nothing much to do after o's, maybe go follow my friends go clubbing for a few time. recently rejected a few invitations for clubbing as it's either during prelims or close to o's, can't afford the time to club. i'm not really a person who clubs, maybe occasionally. i'll see what the future holds for me, it may be good, it may be bad. i don't know but i'll pray and believe it's good.
so besides studying and studying, guess there's nothing much else i can spend my time now, need to sacrifice the time now for a better time in future. okay, need to continue revising, blog some other time.

currently listening to a song while revising, realised that this song touched my heart deeply, there's the song title and it's lyrics.


Battlefield - Jordin Sparks

Don't try to explain your mind
I know what's happening here
One minute it's love
And suddenly it's like a battlefield

One word turns into a war
Why is it the smallest things that tear us down?
My world's nothing when you don't
I'm not here without a shield
Can't go back now

Both hands, tied behind my back with nothing
Oh no, these times when we climb so fast to fall again
Why we gotta fall for it now

I never meant to start a war
You know I never wanna hurt you
Don't even know what we're fighting for

Why does love always feel like a battlefield
A battlefield, a battlefield?
Why does love always feel like a battlefield
A battlefield, a battlefield?
Why does love always feel like

Can't swallow our pride
Neither of us wanna raise that flag
If we can't surrender then we both gonna lose
What we had, oh no

Both hands tied behind my back with nothing
Oh no, these times when we climb so fast to fall again
I don't wanna fall for it now

I never meant to start a war
You know I never wanna hurt you
Don't even know what we're fighting for

Why does love always feel like a battlefield
A battlefield, a battlefield?
Why does love always feel like a battlefield
A battlefield, a battlefield?

I guess you better go and get your armor
(Get your armor)
Get your armor
I guess you better go and get your armor
(Get your armor)
Get your armor
I guess you better go and get your

We could pretend that we are friends tonight
(Oh, oh, oh)
And in the morning we'll wake up and we'll be alright
'Cause baby, we don't have to fight
And I don't want this love to feel like

A battlefield, a battlefield, a battlefield
Why does love always feel like a battlefield
A battlefield, a battlefield

I guess you better go and get your armor

I never meant to start a war
You know I never wanna hurt you
Don't even know what we're fighting for
(Fighting, fighting for)

Why does love always feel like a battlefield
A battlefield, a battlefield?
Why does love always feel like a battlefield
A battlefield, a battlefield?

I guess you better go and get your armor
(Get your armor)
Get your armor
I guess you better go and get your armor
(Get your armor)
Get your armor

Why does love always feel like?
Why does love always feel like?
A battlefield, a battlefield

I never meant to start a war
Don't even know what we're fighting for
I never meant to start a war
Don't even know what we're fighting for


one moment i'm happy, another moment i'm feeling melancholic, am i thinking and worrying too much? all i know is ily

It all ended in a teardrop. Empty

EMPTY :: Friday, August 28, 2009, 23:24

back from somewhere. went somewhere and just found out my trip there was kinda futile. walked for a long time, from about 2000h to 2200h. feeling dead beat now, but oh well got interesting stuff to read go to http://mymilktoof.blogspot.com and read it, it's cute and funny. okay, time to study again, see ya!

It all ended in a teardrop. Empty

EMPTY :: , 19:06

the thought of you made me happy. i miss you

another short update before going out, yes i'm going out to see something, maybe to look at some place i've been before. hope it'll not be futile like last time.
today my sis didn't have any photo shoot so need not accompany her. instead stayed back and did the remaining chem spa file and handing up to mr lim tomorrow, hope i can find him. which means i need to go to school early in the morning! oh well, worth the trip anyway.
went to listen to the song 21 guns by green day after i searched the charts and saw it quite high up. a nice song i can say though a little difficult for people to appreciate if they don't know what it is writing about.

seeing you not smiling really pains me. is there anything wrong? if there is, you can always look for me cos i'll always be there for you. not seeing you makes me miss you loads. believe, faith.....i'll always remember these words, especially when you asked me to have faith in you. i'll always have faith in you, never doubting you, never leaving you because i can't, and because ily. so smile okay? i want to see a happy you.

so much done, so much suffered......all for the sake of love

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EMPTY :: Thursday, August 27, 2009, 20:50

sometimes little things done by others can warm a heart

okay, i'm here blogging for a short while, decided to sneak a short update after coming back from night lesson. it felt good. somehow i feel that mrs. quek will be an effective teacher for me because i can absorb her style of teaching. with a little more practice, i'm sure i can bounce back to where i was.
prelims are just next week, gee am i feeling the stress now.
oh ya, made a short poem during english after mr. khalid left for oral. my poem, though all my words not bold, people have been making nonsense comment about it, oh well i'll ignore them,it's like this:

FROM THE GLANCE I CAN SEE,
YESTERDAY'S MIDNIGHT MOON SHINING.
PAST HAPPENINGS FLASHES, NOW GONE.
MORNING CAME, SUN'S RISING,
READY TO SHINE FOR A NEW TOMORROW

how was my poem? it's just a basic one, took me around 5 min as i had nothing better to do that time. now back for my revision.

i'll support all your decision, keeping you close to me

It all ended in a teardrop. Empty

EMPTY :: Tuesday, August 25, 2009, 22:11

there's a ray of hope in every storm, there's a person to help you in your darkest hour

just came back home, it was kinda late so i'm going to post a short one as i don't have much time. need to do my revision.
first thing first, i'll not be able to blog everyday as the prelims are just under our nose and the o's are looming closer, need all the time i have.
going to visit my dear sis sometime this week, maybe on wednesday or friday. it's the hungry ghost festival and i'm planning to go with her family. dear sis, i'll come and visit you soon. sorry for not visiting you often cos my national exam is coming and i'm kinda back of time. will visit you more often after my o's. meanwhile to all those taking a levels and o's, gambatte!

i'll watch for you, catching you when you fall.ily

It all ended in a teardrop. Empty

EMPTY :: Monday, August 24, 2009, 21:58

sometimes things just have to happen even when you don't want it to....

currently listening to futatsu no kodo to akai tsumi and doing my revision.....prelims are around the corner, can smell it coming. haha. lol
anyway today school's pretty normal, besides getting drilled for hcl, other subjects was kinda okay. hope i can score well for my prelims, haven't been seeing good grades since last year. need to change study plans.
will not have the time to blog everyday as next week is my prelims, need loads of time to prepare, mabe i'll go on facebook for an hour before starting my revision in the night.
and to you: sorry i failed to help patch back you and her, i'm sorry. i didn't expect things to turn out this way. maybe it wasn't meant to be.....i don't know but i hope for the best in future. i just can't give up.
after o's i'll be learning how to sing the above mentioned song, it's a nice song so i'll try.
oh well, back for my revision

will tomorrow be a better day?

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EMPTY :: Sunday, August 23, 2009, 20:05

there's always someone that supports all your decision no matter what, that sticks with you despite troubles.

i just found out google chrome is not bad, after my firefox came with some problems. i kinda like using chrome now(:
went out to settle some stuff, basically helping my sis to reschedule her photo-shoot time cos last week she was sick and on mc, so cannot make it. spent about an hour settling everything as it was kinda complicated. went to visit her again to continue teaching her biology. after a few hours, came home and rest.
prelims are around the corner, feeling the pressure. hope i'll do well for prelims.

i heard one anime opening theme while watching it and i like it a lot cos the rhythm is nice, though the english translation of the song lyrics is a little sad, but the rhythm is nice, i'm not saying what anime the song is from but i'll paste the title of the song and the japanese plus english translation of it.

ふたつのこどあかい - On/Off

赤く赤く赤く揺れて
夢の夢の果てへ
離れられない

もう何度も諦めては 押し殺すたび
行き場の無い感情が 目を覚ましてく
穢れの無い その微笑み 残酷なほど
遠い存在だと分かるよ

癒えない傷 心 蝕むだけなのに
闇の中に 今も宿る 思いを抑えきれない

赤く赤く赤く揺れて
夢の夢の果てへ
出会ってしまった 運命が廻りだす

誰も誰も知らない 秘密
堕ちて堕ちて堕ちて もう戻れない

罪を刻んでも きっと

孤独の淵 歩きながら 救われていた
どんな時も 変わらない リアルな瞳
でも光が まぶしいほど 生まれる影は
深く 色濃く 忍び寄るよ

ふたつの鼓動 まるで 合わせ鏡のように
似てるけれど 違う痛み 無限に続いて行く

赤く赤く赤く燃えて
全て全て消して
叶うことの無い 幻が動き出す

強く強く儚い 夜を
越えて越えて越えて 逃れられない
罪に溺れても きっと

赤く赤く赤く揺れて
夢の夢の果てへ
出会ってしまった 運命が廻りだす

誰も誰も知らない 秘密
堕ちて堕ちて堕ちて もう戻れない

罪を刻んでも きっと

Futatsu No Kodo To Akai Tsumi - On/Off

Akaku, akaku, akaku, yurete
Yume no, yume no hate e
Hanarerarenai

Mou nan do mo akiramete wa, oshikorosu tabi
Ikiba no nai kanjou ga me wo samashiteku
Kegare no nai, sono hohoeru zankoku na hodo
Tooi sonzai da to wakaru yo

Ienai kizu kokoro mushibamu dake na no ni
Yami no naka ni ima mo yadoru omoi wo osaekirenai

Akaku, akaku, akaku yurete
Yume no, yume no hate e
Deatte shimatta unmei ga mawaridasu

Dare mo, dare mo shiranai himitsu
Ochite, ochite, ochite, mou modorenai

Tsumi wo kizande mo, kitto

Kodoku no buchi arukinakagara sukuwareteita
Donna toki mo kawaranai riaru na hitomi
Demo hikari ga mabushii hodo umareru kage wa
Fukaku, irokoku shinobiyoru yo

Futatsu no kodou maru de, awase kagami no you ni
Niteru keredo chigau itami, mugen ni tsudzuiteiku

Akaku, akaku, akaku, moete
Subete, subete, keshite
Kanau koto no nai, maboroshi ga ugokidasu

Tsuyoku, tsuyoku, hakanai yoru wo
Koete, koete, koete, nogarerarenai
Tsumi ni oboretemo, kitto

Akaku, akaku, akaku yurete
Yume no, yume no hate e
Deatte shimatta, unmei ga mawaridasu

Dare mo, dare mo, shiranai himitsu
Ochite, ochite, ochite, mou modorenai

Tsumi wo kisande mo, kitto

Two Heartbeats and Red Sins - On/Off

Shaking in red, in red, in red
to the edge of the dream, of the dream
we can’t be separated

Already, every time when I’m stifled to death after I give up again and again
My emotions that have no place to go wake me up
Your flawless smile knows it’s an existence
So distant that it’s cruel

Even though the incurable wound only eats away at my heart
Even now I can’t completely hold back my thoughts (that dwell) (within) the darkness

Shaking in red, in red, in red
To the edge of the dream, of the dream
We met; destiny begins to turn
A secret that no one, no one knows about
I fall, I fall, I fall
I certainly can’t return anymore, even if I carve out my sins

While I was walking in the abyss of loneliness, I was saved
by realistic eyes that never change
but a shadow born as the light is bright
deeply and pronouncedly creeps up to me

The two heartbeats are exactly like mirrors facing each other
the (pains) are similar (but) different and continue infinitely

Burning in red, in red, in red
Erasing everything, everything
An unfulfilled illusion begins to move
Strongly, strongly
Overcoming, overcoming, overcoming the fleeting night
I certainly can’t escape, even if I drown in my sins

Shaking in red, in red, in red
To the edge of the dream, of the dream
We met; destiny begins to turn
A secret that no one, no one knows about
I fall, I fall, I fall
I certainly can’t return anymore, even if I carve out my my sins

2nd translation

Trembling in scarlet red
Unable to escape
From the end of the dream within

I've given up countless times already
Having been stifled to death on my journey
These feelings with no place to go, make my eyes look sober
That pure smile seems almost distant
Though I'm aware of my existence, it seems almost cruel

This incurable wound only eats away at my heart
These feelings that dwell in the darkness; I can't always hold back

Trembling in scarlet red
From the end of the dream within
I realized these encounters began changing my fate
Not a single person knows
That there's a missing, hidden secret
Even if I engrave these sins, I can definitely not go back

While walking in the depths of loneliness, I was rescued
By realistic eyes which never change
This glaring light was brought into existence
Yet the shadows profoundly sneak up on me

Two heartbeats correspond like mirrors
Infinitely continuing to show similar, yet different pain

Burning in scarlet red
Erasing everything
I'm bearing nothing but illusions that move about
I'm resisting more than the fleeting night
I cannot escape; I'll surely drown in sin

Trembling in scarlet red
From the end of the dream within
I realized these encounters began changing my fate
Not a single person knows
That there's a missing, hidden secret
Even if I engrave these sins, I can definitely not go back



so basically the top is the kanji version, the middle is the romanji version and the last one is the english translation of the japanese song. all those who watched the anime will know the song, and what anime they hear it from. there are a few translated version so i don't know which is it(my jap isn't that good, nowhere near good as well).

nothing in the world is more precious than what you treasure and love

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EMPTY :: Saturday, August 22, 2009, 22:22

we always hope that there'll be sun after all those rainy days

i'll not post today because i can't think of anything to post. will continue tomorrow.

nothing can make me break my promise, i'll fulfill what i have promised you

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EMPTY :: Friday, August 21, 2009, 21:12

sometimes we learn valuable lessons from the past

talked to my juniors outside the library after my chemistry supplementary. they asked me to help them a bit with library stuff, i wanted to help but i realised that i have to visit my sis and everything is at home, so talked to them for a while before heading home and bring all the necessary stuff to visit her.
i was nearly late but oh well, i'm just happy she's feeling better so taught her biology as she was struggling with it(one week no lessons cos of mc) plus the topics were confusing. so taught her for an hour and then talked to her some stuff. stayed there for a few hours then i went back home and take a nap first before doing some revision.
prelims are around the corner, seriously feeling the stress building up, it's now or never.
i also thought a lot of what my sis says. sometimes i disagree with what she says, but most of the time i have to agree with her point. she's a person that possesses a maturity way beyond her age. well anyway, i've made a decision. last time the decision i made was kinda on impulse but right now i know it's not. what i say is the truth, cos no matter what now i would definitely try to keep the promises i told you. i'll always be there for you even if all your friends turned their back against you, i'll be there by your side if you're down, i'll always be there for you, never leaving you because i love you too much. i can never love anyone like that anymore.
i would never say something which i never mean, which i say it just to please you or what. i'll never lie to those i treasure most, i'll not lie to anyone. i'll always hold truth in my words and i'll never regret it. i will always have faith in you. you have to have faith in me and yourself. be strong, i'll always be by your side like a guardian angel protecting it's precious from harm.

in life, sometimes unpredictable things happen

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EMPTY :: Thursday, August 20, 2009, 23:14

sometimes, we wonder whether did we do the right thing

today was a late day. went back home after school as the library was used for the english oral. can't do anything there so decided to head home and take a nap before heading back to school for night lessons.
today's night lessons was the best! met ms. quek's ex-student. he taught me lots and i believe that so long as i try my best, i'll be able to do well for my prelims and o's. but first, study plan has to change, too many things to study too little time, left with one week and six days before prelims. need to alter somethings.
tomorrow after supplementary going out to visit my sis. she's still sick. oh my. i can only wish her a speedy recovery.
this weekend going to visit my dear sis again because the 7th month is here, hope to see her in my dreams soon as i never talk to her for a long time already, kinda miss her.
and i wish those taking their oral tomorrow good luck.

i'll never leave you because i simply love you

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EMPTY :: , 00:29

with understanding, everything starts to fall into place

sorry for the late update, basically went to hcl night class and later went out, was back only at 2200h++
anyway, i'm visiting my sis again this friday, she isn't feeling well again. sigh
and talked to edwin and zheng yang about the bio spa and found out it was some people who caused it, oh well what can i say? nothing. i don't hate the person though, maybe a little dislike, that's all. and i aren't going to pursue the matter, we must be forgiving right?
anyway going to start talking about the topic, what's the topic? it's in my title.

understanding is a very important value in our life, we need it in order to know people, to settle differences etc. but what is really understanding all about?
understanding, based on dictionary, means a state of cooperative or mutually tolerant relations between people. it's basically true as we need to be mutually tolerant in order to work together. sometimes understanding helps us know what the other party is going through, besides being useful in these situations, it can save you loads of trouble later on in life.
people co-exist in order to work things out. no one can exist on his/her own. we'll need help from some other people later on in life if we don't need it now. it's just impossible to go on with life without anyone's help.
different situations demand different type of understanding and it can be classified into many categories. sometimes other values have to be tied in in order for things to work out, values like honesty, empathy etc..... all these values help us to build good relationships with other people. for example some of your friends might be going through hard times, and by trying to be understanding and empathetic, we can help to solve problems. nothing in this world is impossible if we work together.
of course when we talk about understanding, other values come into play like care and concern, sensitive to the other party needs etc.....all these values help us understand the world better, we gain a better insight towards what life really is, what we want and what are we here for. we're all here for a reason, some simple, others complex but no matter what, we do have a purpose to fulfill.
with understanding comes care and concern, you'll naturally want to care for the person and show care and concern towards your friends, family etc. sometimes what others are experiencing is difficult to understand, but instead of turning your back against him/her, have you ever wondered what is it like to be abandoned by people? the feeling of helplessness, that's why i agree with a quote - "a real friend is one who walks in when everyone walks out". this quote has meanings, a wonderful meaning about being understanding and caring, showing empathy and concern at the same time. it'll make the person feel better if we're there by their side whenever they need us. by the example given above, we can see how important is understanding. it's closely tied with other moral values that can only be learned by people with experience. we grow, we learn, even till the day we die, we're all continue learning, why? this is life, life has lots of mysteries for us to uncover and we learn these value so as to communicate with people, to build ties with them and to basically survive in this world, a world so beautiful, yet at the same time, cruel.
understanding is also necessary for the society. you need to be understanding in order to work with different people. there are many type of people in this world and sadly to say, we can't choose who to work with. we have to deal with all sorts of people so by being understanding, we can settle differences and make compromises so that things would work well. take a look at the modern world where prejudice is still a common thing. the world have changed, the people are becoming more and more selfish, they only think about themselves. that's why you see terrorist organisation being formed because the people in there has no simple understanding about anything. they think they're god's "holy warriors" but in actual fact, they're just a bunch of thugs who uses violence and propaganda to sow discords among people. when you look at this scenario, it all boils down of the people there not being understanding enough. being understanding is the most basic skill we must acquire because without being understanding, can we become caring and emphatic? no way. maybe it's just my opinion but oh well, the decision is made after lots of thinking going on.
we yearn for people to understand us but have we wondered did we do our best to understand people first before asking them to understand you? by understanding others first, we get to be sensitive to their needs and thus, they'll be understanding towards you. instead lamenting that people don't understand you, why not try to understand people first? it'll open up many ways which one can then choose to take.
misunderstanding also plays a big part in destroying relationships between people. we usually misunderstand people because we don't try our best to understand others first and by that, we'll usually make a false judgment about that person and hence, we misinterpret his/her actions. personalities changes, but character is one that will never change unless forced to, either by circumstances or by environment. we determine a person by his personalities first, then by character. by judging one's character, we'll know whether a person is understanding or not. understanding is considered a virtue cos not many people can be understanding all the time. when one's heart is beautiful, one will see everything as beautiful.
understanding ties many values in, care, concern, being appreciative, sensitive to other people needs, loyalty(not always) etc..... but most importantly, unparalleled judgment, or we can put it as a just judgment.
one question though for you all to ponder: what does the value being understanding mean to you?
different people have different opinion and thoughts, this is just my two-cents worth. hope it's meaningful.

emptied everything from my head, sheesh a hard one especially when you're studying and thinking about something philosophical at the same time. hope it's a good thought though.

no one is perfect, it's the imperfection of a person that makes a person perfect. it's your imperfection that makes you perfect. あいしてる

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EMPTY :: Tuesday, August 18, 2009, 21:22

live the moments like it's the last, treasure it

visited my sis today cos she was sick. chatted with her for a while. she had a week mc because the doctor suspect her of h1n1 and she's on tamiflu. she complained how bitter it was and i can do nothing except to wish her speedy recovery. sometimes i wondered why can't i be the one instead of my friend to suffer? i don't want them to suffer. it pains me to see people that i treasure and love suffer. well i have faith in god and in everything. i hope everything will be fine soon.
today was screwed, i mean for some people cos they got pulled out by mr. prem for the oral interview. hope that everything will turned out fine.
english was kinda okay and bio was just doing revision. basically the day was rigid, nothing interesting happen but oh well, lets hope everyday will be a fine day.
'nothing in the world will remain the same, everything changes with time' i seriously don't agree with that statement made by my friend, i mean at least there's something that will not change with time
and that is me loving you

tomorrow after night lesson i'll be posting something interesting, philosophical. what's the topic? all i can say is something close to our hearts.
that's all for today, gee, time's running out, got to do my revision.

trying to be a guardian angel of one isn't easy, but nonetheless i'll never give up
don't be sad yinghan, it pains me to see you sad, i'll always be by your side, so don't worry. at least you got me around. always smile(:

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EMPTY :: Monday, August 17, 2009, 21:56

only time will tell everything as it holds all the answers, but faith plays an important role in some situation

today's english oral was kinda screwed as it is the first time that an oral examiner can unsettle me till......
the atmosphere in the room was okay but what unsettled me was the eyes of one of the examiners cos i sort of knew her. i thought i can stand people staring daggers into my eyes but i was wrong for the very first time. reading was kinda screwed but i managed to regain my composure quite fast, only a few messy lines though. picture discussion was terrible, the atmosphere that time was at it's peak, it unsettled me so greatly that even i myself cannot figure out what am i saying. i do hope that i can get good results though.....and finally came the conversation when i was more prepared to face the two teachers that stared daggers into me, i didn't lose my composure and in the end, i managed to pull a feat out of my convo. lets just say i do hope i didn't screw the oral as bad as what i think.
lessons in the morning was otherwise okay only thing is wasted a period of amath cos i got to take my temperature a second time in the canteen. first time i took in class was 37.59 degrees, yes my thermometer can read to two decimal places. went down to canteen to rest a while before taking my temperature and viola! it went down to 37 degrees(:
tomorrow's there's pe and i have not really planned my game yet. i'm doing a one man show on that after asking mrs leong to allow me cos my game plan was different and no one wanted to do with me. (i'm weird, only mr. yeo knows the reason why). yea, that's about it.
i found a song, just found out an old song that fits my mood, it's a chinese song called fairytale in english, lyrics below

童话-光良
忘了有多久
再没听到你
对我说你最爱的故事
我想了很久
我开始慌了
是不是我又做错什么

你哭着对我说
童话里都是骗人的
我不可能是你的王子
也许你不会懂
从你说爱我以后
我的天空星星都亮了

我愿变成童话里
你爱的那个天使
张开双手
变成翅膀守护你
你要相信
相信我们会像童话故事里
幸福和快乐是结局

你哭着对我说
童话里都是骗人的
我不可能是你的王子
也许你不会懂
从你说爱我以后
我的天空星星都亮了

我愿变成童话里
你爱的那个天使
张开双手
变成翅膀守护你
你要相信
相信我们会像童话故事里
幸福和快乐是结局
我要变成童话里
你爱的那个天使
张开双手
变成翅膀守护你
你要相信
相信我们会像童话故事里
幸福和快乐是结局
我会变成童话里
你爱的那个天使
张开双手
变成翅膀守护你
你要相信
相信我们会像童话故事里
幸福和快乐是结局
哦...
一起写我们的结局

sometimes, time won't heal, not especially it has been hurt by......but nonetheless, keep a positive mindset

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EMPTY :: Sunday, August 16, 2009, 21:51

have faith in yourself cos i always have faith in you

tomorrow i'm having english oral, o level stuff. wth
oh well, mine is early at 1500h so i'll get to finish it early. that's a good side to look at(:
still kinda feeling stressed up because no matter what, it's still the national exams. hope i can get distinction.
looking forward to the week after exams where i can have TIME!!!!!!!!!
seriously, i don't have any time right now to relax or what, oh well a little price to pay, so i guess i'll stick to it.
and there isn't much update, so a major one will be going on tomorrow as i forgotten what i want to update about xD
so yeah, see you all tomorrow, till then, farewell

i've never look back since the day you really crossed my path. さみしです,あいしてる

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EMPTY :: Friday, August 14, 2009, 21:41

a best friend is worth to keep a lifetime

i didn't blog for two days straight because i was busy with some stuff and came back home late.
today there's no supplementary for my class so i went to meet my sis and accompanied her for her photo-shoot before coming back to school to meet mr. yeo. but the sad thing is he's not in school when i went though he said he will be free at 1500. oh well, unexpected things happens.
recess followed mah back to his class and from there, i went to the physics lab for my lessons. the mini test wasn't difficult but i made lots of careless mistakes. can't afford to make these types of mistakes during o's.
oh ya, we sec 4s don't get to go for assembly but at least the time is used for revision, just the right time for it.
and the workload seemed to be a little too much to handle but what can i say? juggling 8 subjects(chinese o's ended last year) and one of my weakest subjects is higher chinese......weird right? i scored very well for chinese yet my higher chinese sucks. -.-"
sciences sciences sciences.......a headache for me, don't know which to study first.
i guess i'll just have to put in all my best and leave the rest to fate.
gonna go and do my revision soon.

too much of a good thing can can be bad, learn how to balance them

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EMPTY :: Tuesday, August 11, 2009, 22:08

/edited

every obstacles we face, it makes us grow, it makes us learn what is important and precious to us

today was kinda of rush especially there are lots of things to do like maths, chem, bio and stuff.
talked to rayner and found him a weird guy, i mean in a nice way. he asked me for help yet when i keep asking him what help he needs, he told me he hasn't found the thing. like.....oh well, i'm not complaining about anything but it's just funny.
anyway school's over and i zipped back home and snug back to sleep before continuing my work and stuff, it's a miracle that after all the events that happened, i can still manage a tiny weeny bit of concentration. oh ya, don't know matter solved with mr. yeo or not after speaking. lets just say that i have my own method of doing things and if it works for me, i don't see why and teacher should prevent me from doing it. misunderstanding.......i hope all of it could be cleared(:
up next, there will be lots of stuff planned up so i guess i'll have to modify my
schedule a bit. oh well, lets hope that it'll be better in time

to 7-11: though i know you wouldn't bother coming here but i still got to say it. personally i feel that somehow i know you but you don't have to do this to people, you're really a vicious and kiddy keyboard warrior. why don't YOU come talk to me and we'll settle this once and for all, okay? i don't see why must you target people that are close to me and keep doing it.zzz...... grow up will you? you hate the person is your own opinion, we don't need you to flame people tagbox to show your presence.

oh ya, forgot to add something to the message i want to say yesterday. now i'll insert it: if you need help, you can still look for me cos i still consider you as a friend. if you ever want to be friends again, i'll gladly accept another friend. to re-bond back as a friend seemed impossible, but nonetheless i do hope we can be friends again.

everytime we hope, we hope for the better

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EMPTY :: Monday, August 10, 2009, 22:35

people change, environment changes....everything changes, but i'll not change, i'll change for the better but nothing more

basically a quick update.

went to my dear sis's ritual on sunday, everything ran smoothly, then decided to help them out something before going back home. the national day parade was kinda okay, watched it on tv though and it made me think of something: what will you defend for?
my answer is simple, i'll defend things that are precious to me such as my family, friends, country and my loved ones including the one i love.

the second part of the post you don't need to read it cos it doesn't concern most of you but i still have to put it nonetheless.

i have to say this no matter what even if i know you most likely won't read it cos you won't even see it. thank you cheryl for making me realise who i really love, cos without that incident happening, i wouldn't have learn lots of things and i won't have known what true love is. there is someone i appreciate very much who helped me during times though sometimes i was annoying but the person still helped me. thinking about the past still hurts, but not that much anymore as i've learnt how to move on. you made me realise that the one i really love is.................. i do wish you all the best for the rest of your life. thank you for making me realise who i truly love and i'll love the person with all my heart and soul. i'll protect her, love her till the end of time, or even further if possible cos in every story, in every tale, there is always possibilities and hope.
thank you once again, cheryl
without you, without that, i guess i'll still be stuck without knowing who i really ever love.thank you


the stars for the very first time, fades away

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EMPTY :: Saturday, August 08, 2009, 21:54

sometimes we just need hope from people to continue

i don't think i can be online tomorrow so i'm gonna wish sinagpore happy 44th national day.
went out today for the whole day to get things that i need for tomorrow's ritual for my dear sis, wonder how is she right now?
anyway, i'll just do a quick update for today before going over to my dear sis place, we're planning to leave early in the morning so a sleepover will be fine, asked her parents le.
okay, i think that's for all, will come back and update either tomorrow or monday.

we speak the language of silence

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EMPTY :: Friday, August 07, 2009, 20:23

i'll not miss it next time

finally did find a red shirt, so went to school with it. school's basically okay, enjoyed myself though. first time i've loosen that much, feels a little good.
after school, went to hub to get something for my sis before meeting her to accompany her to her photo-shoot which starts at 1500h cos her bf can't make it. on the way there, saw rayner, wy, yh and don't know who(can't remember the person's name) at hub. at first planning to buy lunch at subway but ended up going chijmes to have my lunch instead. and all these while i was thinking cos i missed the chance and such chance was hard to come by and i wish it would happen again.
i should have asked you and the rest where are you all going so i can tag along to watch movies with you all, but i didn't, which i regretted and by the time i came back hub for a short while, i think you all were in the cinema already. a regret that i have

so i went to meet my sis earlier and just right she wanted to go the paragon to get some stuff for her photo-shoot. i waited for her about an hour or so then we decided to go to the changi to watch sunset. while watching, we talked and i found out how serious i was. she asked me to loosen up more so people will start to see the fun side of me. we also talked lots of stuff and i realise that i have lots to change and loosening up to do. oh well, i guess i'll have to loosen up quite a bit.
now i know why i'm labeled boring and being too serious plus protective. i guess too much of a good thing become bad, plus people don't see the 'fun' in me cos i hid it with my seriousness. sigh. lots to change, but i will do it. for the better, for the future. さみしです

for every rainy days, there will be a rainbow. thanks for helping me during my darkest hour even if you found me annoying, you still did help. thank you

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EMPTY :: Thursday, August 06, 2009, 21:47

we become stronger if we have something precious to us

came back from maths night class. tomorrow is national day celebration, need to dig my wardrobe for red shirt if not got no choice wear school uniform.
lessons were pretty norm except english, where everyone stayed in their class and mr. k(don't know how to write his surname but sound like that) took my class. he asked us to write composition and the whole class was like not doing it.
morning after ss at 0920h supposed to be chem but since mr. lim on 9 days mc, AWK took the double period before recess and use that for our australian maths competition. the competition sucks cos i didn't see the last 4 question till last 5 min and have lost 40 marks there. the paper was like maths olympiad so yeah, good practice. never do any difficult mental sums for a long time.
stayed back in school for night class, so i went to the library to study first, then night class, did maths paper and asked mrs quek some questions on amaths. now quite shag. gonna have an early night.
tomorrow school's ending at 10(or is it 0920?) anyway, might be going out to settle something or meeting my sis for some things which i don't know yet.
so tomorrow will be a busy day for me i guess.....and 26 more days to prelims, need to go full steam le. last chance to do well. oh ya, and all my browser is screwed(or is it blogger?) cos i can't use the shortcuts for bold, italic etc.....grr
gonna do work le.

already in the final lap for both things, i cannot afford to slip

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EMPTY :: Wednesday, August 05, 2009, 23:13

nothing in this world is hidden, it's all out there for us to get

i don't know if blogger or my firefox is screwed, can't seem to use the shortcut key for italics, bold and underline.

went off early today after SPA to report to CMPB. i didn't know the process will be that fast, only the one next year will be complex, owing to somethings.
ayway, SPA was pretty easy except that i spend the WHOLE night studying, then suddenly doze off during maths but 10 minutes later, i woke up suddenly for don't know what reason and since there's the adrenaline rush, i didn't feel sleepy for the rest of the maths period and the rest of the curriculum.yay me. zzz
i did screw the biology a little, in the procedure part, i realise i miss one whole chunk of information and went to squeeze it at the appropriate space. overall i can say it's quite well done. and i'm proud to say i didn't ask david but study on my own even if it means spending the whole night.
friday is national day celebration and i'm wondering should i come in red. hmm.....
i got lots of clothes but not much red ones, maybe even near to none cos all my clothes are dark colours like black etc....
and i saw a quote which i find it meaningful: "hold a true friend with both your hands"
it truly is meaningful, and i'm gonna remember it for the rest of my life.
meanwhile, i should get back to studying, so.....bye!

i'll be the sun who drives away your darkness, i'll be the moon who will keep you company in the lonely nights

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EMPTY :: Tuesday, August 04, 2009, 21:50

living in reverie, everything seems nice and perfect

the truth is always known, it's not hidden from far. somethings it's always best to be truthful, so that people will trust you.
trust have to be built, trust have to be earned.
we lose trust when we've been betrayed, yet sometime, we trust some people no matter what the cost is, no matter how much we've been hurt by the person. this happens because the person is precious to us.
trust and truth are always working together, one cannot work without the other.
i mistook that today got bio SPA,zzz
anyway, roughly know what's gonna come out after today's revision.
still finding lots of notes online....i simply love the internet, it provides me many information useful for my O's. heh
loads of notes to draw up this few weeks. gah, the O's...kinda hate it though.
i'm gonna study now. bye!

trust, truth.......it'll always be, from me. you can trust me, whatever i've said.....it's all the truth

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EMPTY :: Monday, August 03, 2009, 21:00

walking through the path

today was not a good day. things went a little haywire during cme. i took a timeout cos my head was hurting, later mr yeo said he wants to talk to me, and we spoke about practically misunderstandings. first, my class had been suspended for sup class this entire week and basically it's about misunderstanding. and mr yeo told me many teachers are having misunderstanding about me and he seeks to clarify about it. so we talked, and talked till quite late. practically skipped hcl lessons in the afternoon cos we're settling the things.
came back home and decided to do my revision for bio SPA tomorrow, and something happened. i forgot about it and completely ignored about that extra blog in my dashboard. how the heck can i forget about it. until someone brought that up, i realised i had forgotten to delete that blog a few months ago.zzz, now there's things to settle.

tomorrow is bio SPA, and i'm cracking my head on what will be coming out. photosynthesis i know....but what about it? no idea, so i'm gonna just memorise everything and hope one of it will come out.
and tomorrow i get to leave early! to go and do some army admin stuff with the army personnel.zzz, another hectic day tomorrow.
oh well, at least something funny happened today, put it to short, it happened during cme, had a little of it before taking a timeout. but it was fun, doing something about national day.
i got to continue my revision for tomorrow's SPA, cannot afford to screw things up.

lets hope everything will be alright, for i believe the truth to be told and it will prevail over anything

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EMPTY :: Sunday, August 02, 2009, 23:31

weaving the melody of the moon

yesterday i was called, so went out till today.
and wednesday i'll be going to the CMPB to settle some stuff.
there will determine whether will i be going to army next year or what.
zzz, nothing to post about today. suddenly read something that made me lose my mood to do almost everything.haix, i guess i'll have an early night.

somethings it's just like that. fate wants it that way. we have no choice but to accept the cold hard truth

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EMPTY :: Saturday, August 01, 2009, 19:26

moonlight shining through the windows of my soul

chance, everyone has them, but most of the time we get to only do it once. if we didn't grab the chance or make use of it, it would most likely not comeback again. just like what happened to me. i've missed too many chances in my life but what can i do? nothing. so it's best to learn from it and not sit there and dwell on.
but there is one chance, that chance where i didn't take it and now it's making me having the BIGGEST regret in my entire life......i don't want to talk about it cos there's no point in doing that. i don't want people to read a post which is full of grieve. anyway, i'm skipping that.
today's lesson is basically just bio prep for SPA on tues. i found out the topic for it and i'm doing all my best NOT to screw it up cos my chem is already screwed. SPA file lost, 20% of the whole paper gone, so gotta make my grades for physics IMPROVE, i mean the theory part. i seriously suck at classical physics, i prefer quantum but too bad we got to learn classical physics first and i've made a mistake in that in primary school, i went to learn quantum, now i can't integrate back into the field of classical physics. just gotta see how much i can improve it by. for bio, i really need to ACE the whole paper, so for SPA i can't afford to screw it up. after bio, went back home and take a nap before going out with some of my friends.
and now i'm back. this will probably be the last day i used the comp for so long. from next week onwards, i'll just sign in to my messenger to see if any of my friends need help or what, other than that, i'll just leave my messenger signed in and continue to do my revision and work.
next sunday is national day. one of my friend ask me want to go party at don't know what club. i told him i'll see how first but most likely i'll not be going. i'll rather use the time to revise my work.
and by next week i'll see if had to go to army next year, hope i can postpone it
or be completely exempted


i'll just have to leave part of it to nature and another part of it i'll have no choice but to fight for it.
as each day pass, i begin to miss you and love you even more

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EMPTY :: , 02:21

sometimes, it just take a blink of an eye for everything to change.

went out to watch the sunset with sis, once again it's beautiful. enjoyed it
it seems that watching the sunset has varied effect, if you watch it with someone you care for, or loved, then it seems relaxing and calming. but if you watch it alone, memories, be it bad or good, will start streaming back into your head.
i've tried both methods, and apparently, i can't watch the sunset alone cos many memories that is buried resurfaced. that's why i'll never watch sunset alone again.
school is getting hectic, more work to do now. night classes starting soon too.
tomorrow there's lesson. gonna report to school early to do some extra revision on my own.
i wonder what will happen after O's, seems like everyone is parting ways again. wonder now how am i going to keep some people.

another change in life, i just gotta accept it.
anyway, heard a song which is very nice, and when i searched for the lyrics, once i saw it, i love it. another beautifully written song.
what's the song?
look below


You Are My Everthing - Lexington Bridge

Baby I can't let you go
I think about you all the time
Think about you all the nights
You and me we creepin' next to the sea
You brought the fresh champagne
And I'd light the fire
Sometimes I really ask myself
Do you really wanna lean on this man
Remember all the beautiful moments
We share
My darling please think twice

Baby I
I swear to god up in the sky
I'll be your shelter when you cry
Cause you are my everything
Baby I
I travelled around the seven seas
I'd climb any mountain high
And speak to you
Cause you are my everything

Oh I think I'm lost in the wind
Without you by my side
There is no one who can hold me
Together we would fight any storm
I could show you how
Just give me your hand now
I really wanna make you mine
(to make it feel alright)
Baby for all the time
I never let you feel down
(want you to be around)
Cause you surrender my heart

Baby I
I swear to god up in the sky
I'll be your shelter when you cry
Cause you are my everything
Baby I
I travelled around the seven seas
I'd climb any mountain high
And speak to you
Cause you are my everything

I'll be there whenever you call
I wash the teardrops from your skin
Cause in my dreams
I've made such a plan
For you and me
We built a castle
Where we could settle down my friend
Romantic melodies been played
By the wind

Baby I
I swear to god up in the sky
I'll be your shelter when you cry
Cause you are my everything
Baby I
I travelled around the seven seas
I'd climb any mountain high
And speak to you
Cause you are my everything



isn't the song written beautifully?
will continue to post tomorrow.

some part of me do not dare to look forward to the future, but some part of me wants it, what is it? i don't know. only time can tell. i just hope for the best.
it seems like you've forgotten about me....2 months ago you like me back but because of my fear, i didn't confess to you. but now, everything seems to crumble down.....nonetheless i hope you'll give me a chance cos i promise you i'll love you till the end of time. i promise you that you wouldn't be hurt again. saying so much, it's no use. you aren't able to read it. now i can only hope i'm given a chance.

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THE LONESOME SOUL

Goh Benjamin


I watch, i feel, from there i learn....through the colours of the world, i paint a beautiful picture that is far from the ugliness of reality The world is an illusion, a painful one.

Wishes

You to be fine
Friends to be happy
To remember her, my god sister forever

World to be peaceful
And don't rip credits, thanks.

Friendships that I treasure..

  • Fan Ying Han
  • Mernel Koh Min Er
  • Shermaine Tan
  • Yang Wen Yi
  • Cheryl Tan
  • Lim Cheng Chuan
  • Lee Jia En
  • Tan Jun Wei Zack
  • Lindy
  • Benedict Tan
  • Jean
  • Stella Ang
  • Bob Leong
  • Tommy

    WHISPERS





    MEMORIES

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    Blessings and thanks

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    Rest In Peace......my friend
    Mernel Koh Min Er(许敏儿)

    Rest in peace Mernel...... you will always be fondly remembered

    Passed away on 30th September 2008(1993-2008)