EMPTY :: Wednesday, April 29, 2009, 23:25
Having problems now......head and heart hurting......
do it have to be that way? why can't things just be simpler?
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EMPTY :: , 21:03
lets just say I'm trimming.....trimming what? you'll know soon enough
time for me to put an end to it.
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EMPTY :: , 20:35
Today was whole lot of a hectic day. Did many practice papers......
guess that the O's are going to be very difficult.
Stayed back to do part of my TYS(supposed to complete the whole book so taking it bit by bit.)
Before that, played with Jordon, Yifan, Daryl, Aaron, Kit yin, Samuel and the rest of my junior bball.....
then after that, continued my work till about 1830h before playing with teck woon and the rest of my another batch of junior bball........
I didn't expect it to happen but it did......
then halfway through the match, Samuel told me that Sherina took her pencil back.
Phew.....at least there were no problem with it except with the teacher's way........you know
and you know what? Lucky someone reminded me to bring the thermometer if not I sure tio punished today.Thanks.
Studying the sciences are sure tough....there is lots of things to memorise.......
and today's photo taking was kinda like....... but recess was great, I had recess until 1210h! from 1050 to 1210.......actually teacher gave until 1130 but my food got "contaminated" and had to buy another one....zzz
so yeah.....and last thing: GOOD LUCK TO ALL LEVELS ESPECIALLY THE SEC 2s AND SEC 4s.......THIS YEAR WILL BE THE 2s STREAMING AND THE 4s O LEVEL......SO JIAYOU EVERYONE! GAMBATTE!
the sight of the morning sun rising has never been so painful to watch and experience......and I'm supposed to be the one saying it instead of you.
this line, when my friend told me, thoughts run through my head like mad.....but oh well, decided to push to the back of my heart and not thinking about it but I will definitely help him.
both feelings experienced are the same.......
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EMPTY :: Tuesday, April 28, 2009, 21:32
Today as per normal....
Doing duty saw a pencil on the table, went to take a look and saw there is a name on it. Sherina's name on it.
Didn't know she was in Home econ or D&T so decided to try the D&T room.
The teacher was like ignoring me when I knock on the door VERY loudly and everyone in the room stared at me.....dotz
like I'm returning a pencil and they give me a look like I had disrupted their lesson.....and the teacher was very difficult to communicate with, if I had known, I'll have gone to look for Ms Chia....easier to talk.
End up I don't know if the pencil was returned to the owner....hope yes and I'll try to be more careful when approaching a very difficult to deal with teacher......
my heart has just been dealt another blow....
you once promised me that everything will be fine but look at the mess, it's...... I'm trying every second of my life.....
Sis, ily and imy
To all my friends: Thanks for everything you've done, I appreciated it a lot and really treasure the friendship we have.....
there should be an exit but I can't find one......
and ryan teo, you'll "get it" from me for anyhow putting words into my mouth.
I say I don't like 8 and you keep twisting my words....you're so gonna get it from me.
Sitting in the middle of an alley watching the sunrise and set with Solitude.
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EMPTY :: Monday, April 27, 2009, 20:10
Today stayed back to do some of my physics work....it's like we got to complete the WHOLE TYS......
went back home around 1900h......
mid year exams is getting nearer, very afraid of it.......
and oh well....shouldn't be too hype anymore......reverting to my normal self.....
hyping is good, but too much of it sucks.....should remain calm and yeah.....back to my previous self......should hype at the right time....
YIRUMA'S SONG ROCKS!!!!
all of his songs are nice.....all classical and instrumental.....on the piano.
looking back at these few months, it had been very bad......too bad that it inflicted me with a deep wound. I hope that wound can recover and I look forward with positive things in my life.
Have I said this before that my friends are the only people I got? I treasure all of them and treat everyone of them as a valuable asset but I've accidentally destroyed some and am trying....praying that it'll mend back. I know all of it is my mistake, mistakes I've made that destroyed my friendship with others. I'm very sorry about that and I promise I wouldn't commit the same mistakes again. I hope I can be forgiven for all my mistakes....this will be the last time and I promise such things will not happen again. I can't go without friends....they're like my company, people who I can study and play with.......without them...life is going to be bitter like it'll be nothing......and I guess I got to admit that losing a friend is like having a limb or part of me dissected off me. It is very painful......so I'm trying day by day to do whatever I can to mend the friendship that had been destroyed by my mistakes.
That's it....first time stop to think is my life THAT perfect or wonderful in this year.....but it seems like no to me......
I'm trying......trying every second
every minute
every hour
every moment
and everyday.........
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EMPTY :: Sunday, April 26, 2009, 14:53
Today was kinda okay.....
Went to Holy Trinity for my mass before attending the holy communion at SAC....
After that, went to tour the SAC again.....
The holy communion was nice and I'm going back again, after my mass.
but again, I can't go every week.....random week
*sigh*
at 21, I'll be able to go both every week and looking forward to it(:
But lots of confusion for me today, the pastor was too soft so sometimes I can't catch his words.....
other than that, everything is fine(:
then after the whole service, went to C.H.I.J.M.E.S to eat my lunch before taking the train back home.....and tada, now I'm here......lol
so in all, I've made two trips that is worth it because the SAC's service is better than any other service provided by christian, baptist, methodist etc.....plus it is BIG!!! I say it is HUMONGOUS!!!!
But mine will always be the best!!!(yeah, I'm bias....lol)
so....it left a smile on my face....
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EMPTY :: Saturday, April 25, 2009, 16:58
Today went out after service.....
next week I might be going to SAC for another round of visit.....the place s humongous!
Exams,exams,exams but way cool thing is IT IN THE HALL......lols
at least some free air-con to cool us down.....
Going out after that........operation solo
need to settle something.
"On that day, you taught me that solitude is painful! I understand that so well right now. I have family, and I have friends but if you're gone... To me... It will be the same as being alone."--Sakura
"Those in the ninja world who break the rules and regulations are called filth, but those who don't care about their companions... are even lower than filth."--Kakashi and Obito
"I have a precious person. I want to fight for that person, work for that person, make that person's dreams come true. That is my dream!"--Haku
"These people are precious to me.....we share a home.....we share a life.....and though we may not share ties of blood, they are precious to me! They are my family!"- Sandaime
"You came...even though your about to break" -Aerith
"People can't defeat loneliness" - Gaara
"There's not a thing I don't cherish" - Cloud
"I just want to be forgiven...more than anything" - Cloud
"The only fate we all share, is death.." - Neji
Some quotes in the show naruto and FF.
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EMPTY :: Friday, April 24, 2009, 21:47
Stayed back after school to do my TYS Physics homework.
Didn't know it will take me THAT long just to chiong 5 chapters of it.
Time I went back: 2000h
so now can relax and continue my work tomorrow....heh
Mid year is coming!!! Wishing everyone the best of luck!
........
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EMPTY :: Thursday, April 23, 2009, 20:43
Today was kinda hell......
During physics lots of people never do Prem's homework.....in fact nearly the WHOLE class didn't do, so we were kinda punished outside the physics lab to do.....zzz
wth la.......then last moment some people get to go back into the lab while all those who did nothing got to stand outside......
lucky I was saved by my ray diagram.....did it last year,heh
so entered the lab with a few others but it was like....the lessons left about 15 minutes.
Then EL was like summary test, I completed it early and slept.....I wrote EXACTLY the number of words required......lols
Sis, I dreamed of you today, you looked happy and I know you are worried about me......you need not worry, kor wouldn't do such a thing. I know I have screwed up a lot and I'm going to try to salvage it again......especially friends, they are all I ever got. Without them, I'm just a lonely soul who only has the Lord and God by my side. Friends are VERY IMPORTANT to me...yeah sis, I'll try and I'll take a step at a time.
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EMPTY :: , 00:07
Sis.....I just found a song that reminds me of you and the song is Kiss The Rain by Yiruma.
Kiss the rain - Yiruma
I often close my eyes
And I can see you smile
You reach out for my hand
And I'm woken from my dream
Although your heart is mine
Its hollow inside
I never had your love
And I never will
And every night
I lie awake
Thinking maybe you love me
Like I've always loved you
But how can you love me
Like I loved you when
You can't even look me straight in my eyes
I've never felt this way
To be so in love
To have someone there
Yet feel so alone
Aren't you supposed to be
The one to wipe my tears
The on to say that you would never leave
The waters calm and still
My reflection is there
I see you holding me
But then you disappear
All that is left of you
Is a memory
On that only, exists in my dreams
I don't know what hurts you
But I can feel it too
And it just hurts so much
To know that I can't do a thing
And deep down in my heart
Somehow I just know
That no matter what
I'll always love you
So why am I still here in the rain..
The song is very melodious, the melody is very nice and I'm going to learn how to play it on a piano.
it's for you
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EMPTY :: Wednesday, April 22, 2009, 22:03
yesterday's morning assembly was kinda good.....
relationship bank.....
I've screwed up a few of them and now trying my best to fix them.
taking it step by step....
anyway, today I've screwed up LOTS of stuff.....went to school today despite running a fever....just to do my bio SPA but it was useless as I've found out I've lost my whole bio SPA file in school, in the lab!
Oh well......chemistry and biology lost 20% of the whole paper....now need to bang on theory......
and today's assembly was FUN!!!
had lots of good laughs and the cartoon was kinda fun drawing....but I still prefer to draw manga......
and guess what, my fever miraculously disappeared and I played bball with teck woon and the rest then went back home to complete my work.....
if not, nothing else much except that I've screwed up LOTS of things in my life...
Why?
its too much......screwed up too much of my life that causes a deep gash in my heart.....
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EMPTY :: Tuesday, April 21, 2009, 22:18
Physics forget to bring TYS(Ten Year Series) got punished by Mr.Prem to sit outside the lab...zzz
I'm doing homework now so I'll blog tomorrow, bye!
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EMPTY :: Monday, April 20, 2009, 21:43
One word to describe today: Chaos....
Today got oral, went to Miss Li again because she gave me good marks last year....wonder will I get the same mark again?
Oh ya....and I played bball today......wah 3 months never play skill damn rusty.....but still need to prepare for exams and exams...streams of it.
Preparing for intensive work.....
sometimes I don't get it......
my mood....sometimes melancholic, sometimes happy, sometimes mixed, sometimes emo, sometimes......
Which is it now?
abrsqrwxghklwxyzghjkwx(......)
Life.......
Hopes......
Regrets......
Got to do my revision now.....
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EMPTY :: Sunday, April 19, 2009, 22:26
Yesterday went out with CC to Hub first, then I decided to go The Paragon but instead, I went to Far East.....for a while before going back to The Paragon.
*sigh*
Don't know what to do........
Study...got to prepare for my biggest exams......
So will be online to do my revision.....nothing else much
after exams than go out and enjoy!
Scores for exams? Be as good as I can be.
Wishes? Almost everything valuable to me.
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EMPTY :: Saturday, April 18, 2009, 13:31
All or nothing - Westlife
I know when he's been on your mind
That distant look is in your eyes
I thought with time you'd realize it's over, over
It's not the way I choose to live
Bit something somewhere's gotta give
As sharing in this relationship gets older, older
You know I'd fight for you but how could I fight someone who isn't even there
I've had the rest of you now I want the best of you I don't care if that's not
fair
Cuz I want it all
Or nothing at all
There's nowhere left to fall
When you reach the bottom it's now or never
Is it all
Or are we just friends
Is this how it ends
With a simple telephone call
You leave me here with nothing at all
There are time it seems to me
I'm sharing you with memories
I feel it in my heart but I don't show it, show it
Then there's times you look at me
As though I'm all that you cN see
Those times I don't believe it's right I know it, know it
Don't make me promises baby you never did know how to keep them well
I had the rest of you now I want the best of you it's time to show and tell
Cuz I want it all
Or nothing at all
There's nowhere left to fall
When you reach the bottom it's now or never
Is it all
Or are we just friends
Is this how it ends
With a simple telephone call
You leave me here with nothing at all
Cuz you and I
Could lose it all if you've got no more room
No more inside for me in your life
Cuz I want it all
Or Nothing at all
There's nowhere left to fall
It's now or never
Is it all
Or nothing at all
When you reach the bottom it's now or never
Is it all
Or are we just friends
Is this how it ends
With a simple telephone call
You leave me here with nothing
Cuz you and I
Could lose it all if you've got no more room
No more inside for me in your life
Cuz I want it all
Or nothing at all
There's nowhere left to fall
It's now or never
Is it all
Or nothing at all
When you reach the bottom it's now or never
Is it all
Or are we just friends
Is this how it ends
With a simple telephone call
You leave me here with nothing at all
Going out with CC later....don't know go where.....go Hub? J8? Paragon? Far East?
...........
Too many places to choose from......
One word: I'M BORED......
so going out to have some fun before preparing for MID-YEAR and SOME EXAMS!
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EMPTY :: Friday, April 17, 2009, 23:21
oh ya forgot.....
can use comp for revision since all my notes are online?.....lol
AIMING HIGH.....
lots of preparation to do......
wonder can I make it.
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EMPTY :: , 23:02
........
lyrics coming right up.
Angels' Wing - Westlife
I would die for you
Lay down my life for you
The only thing that means everything to me
'Cause when you're in my arms
You make me prouder than
Than anything I ever could achieve
And you make everything that used to seem so big
Seem to be so small since you arrived
On angel's wings, an angelical formation
Angel's wings, like letters in the sky
Now I know no matter what the question
Love is the answer
It's written on angel's wings
And I often wonder why,
Someone as flawed as I
Deserves to be as happy as you make me
So as the years roll by
I'll be there by your side
I'll follow you wherever your heart takes me
Cause you make everything that used to be so big
Seem to be so small since you arrived
On angel's wings, an angelical formation
Angel's wings, like letters in the sky
Now I know no matter what the question
Love is the answer
It's written on angel's wings
Now anyone who's felt the touch of heaven in their lives
Will know the way I'm feeling, looking
In my baby's eyes
That's why I can't bear to be too far away
I know that god must love me cause
He sent you to me on angel's wings
On angel's wings, an angelical formation
Angel's wings, like letters in the sky
Now I know no matter what the question
Love is the answer
It's written on angel's wings
Love is the answer
It's written on angel's wings
_____________________________________________________________________________________
Best of me - Daniel Powter
I was made the wrong way
Won't you do me the right way
Where you gonna be tonight
'cause i won't stay too long
Maybe you're the light for me
When you talk to me it strikes me
Won't somebody help me
'cause i don't feel too strong
Was it something that i said
Was it something that i did
Or the combination of both that did me wrong
You know i'm hoping you sing along
I know it's not your favorite song
Don't wanna be there when there's nothing left to say
You know that some of us spin again
When you do, you need a friend
Don't wanna be there when there's nothing left for me
And i hate to thought of finally being erased
Baby that's the best of me
Everything's behind you
But the hope still stands beside you
Living in every moment
Have i wasted all your time
Was there something that i said
Was there something that i did
Or the combination i broke that did me have
You know i'm hoping you sing along
I know it's not your favorite song
Don't wanna be there when there's nothing left to say
You know that some of us spin again
When you do, you need a friend
Don't wanna be there when there's nothing left for me
And i hate to thought of finally being erased
Baby that's the best of me
Baby that's the best of me
You know i'm hoping you sing along
I know it's not your favorite song
Don't wanna be there when there's nothing left to say
You know that some of us spin again
When you do, you need a friend
Don't wanna be there when there's nothing left for me
And i hate to thought of finally being erased
Baby that's the best of me
_____________________________________________________________________________________
Sometimes when we touch - Olivia Ong
You ask me if I love you
and I choke on my reply
I'd rather hurt you honestly
than mislead you with a lie
And who am I to judge you
in what you say or do
I'm only just beginning
to see the real you
And sometimes when we touch
the honesty's too much
and I have to close my eyes and hide
I want to hold you till I die
till we both break down and cry
I want to hold you till the fear in me subsides
Romance and all it's strategy
leaves me battling with my pride
But through all the insecurity
some tenderness survives
I'm just another writer
still trapped within my truth
A hesitant prize fighter
still trapped within my youth
And sometimes when we touch
the honesty's too much
and I have to close my eyes and hide
I want to hold you till I die
till we both break down and cry
I want to hold you till the fear in me subsides
At times I'd like to break you
and drive you to your knees
At times I'd like to break through
and hold you endlessly
At times I understand you
and I know how hard you try
I watched while love commands you
and I've watched love pass you by
At times I think we're drifters
still searching for a friend
a brother or a sister
but then the passion flares again
And sometimes when we touch
the honesty's too much
and I have to close my eyes and hide
I want to hold ya till I die
till we both break down and cry
I want to hold you till the fear in me subsides
Subsides
_____________________________________________________________________________________
3 lyrics.......
beautiful lyrics.......
Today lesson nearly fall asleep.....lols
too worn out i guess....although I slept enough, but still.........
Then Mr. Yeo went to check on me and told me I should rest more...
I told him i got ample of rest but don't know why feeling tired.
Then he said something that shocked me.
...........
Today chem is ORGANIC!!!!
Yeah....many huh around...heh
but got 2 weeks to prepare for mid-year and a few more exams.
If I pass that elusive one, then MAYBE will be making history in MF.
so got to work full steam....and speed.
one day you'll understand....
EXAMS= STRESS
what to do?
.......
Hope everything is alright...........
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EMPTY :: , 17:01
You Found Me - The Fray
I found god
On the corner of first and Amistad
Where the west was all but won
All alone, smoking his last cigarette
I Said where you been, he said ask anything
Where were you?
When everything was falling apart
All my days were spent by the telephone
It never rang
And all I needed was a call
That never came
To the corner of first and Amistad
Lost and insecure
You found me, you found me
Lying on the floor
Surrounded, surrounded
Why'd you have to wait?
Where were you? Where were you?
Just a little late
You found me, you found me
In the end everyone ends up alone
Losing her, the only one who's ever known
Who I am, who I'm not, who I want to be
No way to know how long she will be next to me
Lost and insecure
You found me, you found me
Lying on the floor
Surrounded, surrounded
Whyd you have to wait?
Where were you, where were you?
Just a little late
You found me, you found me
Early morning, City breaks
Ive been calling for years and years and years and years
And you never left me no messages
You never send me no letters
You got some kind of nerve, taking all I want
Lost and insecure
You found me, you found me
Lying on the floor
Where were you where were you?
Lost and insecure
You found me, you found me
Lying on the floor
Surrounded, surrounded
Why'd you have to wait?
Where were you, where were you?
Just a little late
You found me, you found me
why'd you have to wait
to find me, to find me
Just some random lyrics....the song I'm listening right now. Learning how to understand the beauty of lyrics of a song.
Will be posting again, and maybe more songs lyrics....so stay tuned.....haha......lol
CHOIR GOT GOLD!!!!!!!!
Still quite high over it as it's unbelievable...thank you God.
What about now?
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EMPTY :: Thursday, April 16, 2009, 20:32
SYF was kinda fun.
Had a great time with the baritones and some others until someone misunderstood me through a message.
But seriously, I screwed up the choir of my wrong notes......the first one came accidentally and I panic, and soon other wrong notes followed. I hope I did not screw it up too badly....xD
and guess what? WE GOT A GOLD!!!! YAY!......lols
and.....sis, I really need to talk to you. Haven't seen you for the past few days, do come and visit me, okay?
*sigh*
What can I do that can make you understand that I did not harbored any thoughts that you will.......me and all I ever wanted was to be your friend again, nothing more, really.Missed the fun times we had..........
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EMPTY :: Wednesday, April 15, 2009, 20:10
Tomorrow SYF, going to have an early night.
Chem today was a little fun.....also had a great time with Calvin in choir.
Shinjiru.....
will try my best to follow what it supposed to mean.
And yeah, either cutting my hair by this week or next. xD
When you're gone - Avril Lavigne
I always needed time on my own
I never thought I'd need you there when I cry
And the days feel like years when I'm alone
And the bed where you lie is made up on your side
When you walk away I count the steps that you take
Do you see how much I need you right now
When you're gone
The pieces of my heart are missing you
When you're gone
The face I came to know is missing too
When you're gone
The words I need to hear to always get me through the day and make it ok
I miss you
I've never felt this way before
Everything that I do reminds me of you
And the clothes you left, they lie on the floor
And they smell just like you, I love the things that you do
When you walk away I count the steps that you take
Do you see how much I need you right now
When you're gone
The pieces of my heart are missing you
When you're gone
The face I came to know is missing too
When you're gone
The words I need to hear to always get me through the day and make it ok
I miss you
We were made for each other
Out here forever
I know we were, yeah
All I ever wanted was for you to know
Everything I'd do, I'd give my heart and soul
I can hardly breathe I need to feel you here with me, yeah
When you're gone
The pieces of my heart are missing you
When you're gone
The face I came to know is missing too
When you're gone
The words I need to hear to always get me through the day and make it ok
I miss you.
A mask, a bottle and rain......what does it symbolize? What does it mean to you? Think.........
The pain of missing you is all I have to endure, to hope for the better
Good luck to all for SYF!
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EMPTY :: , 00:27
Puzzled? Yeah I am very confused.
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EMPTY :: Tuesday, April 14, 2009, 23:17
Today went to try the attire for SYF.....
It kinda looks weird......the guys were looking like ancient Chinese merchant.
Mr.Chen is trying to save us.
haha......
So today's lesson kinda boring, but exams are around the corner, time to buck up.
Nothing to comment about except that SYF is coming......
Got to see this few days what can be salvage.......
Night classes starting soon.....want to stay back to learn more.....lol
anyway, off to hear my two pieces and perfect them.
what should I do now?
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EMPTY :: Monday, April 13, 2009, 22:21
Time to reflect on my stupid attitude problem when I'm pissed........
Need to change le..................
Will be reflecting.......what CC say was right.....when I'm pissed, my attitude problem arise.....
Now no matter what, I must keep calm and get rid of that stinking attitude problem of mine.
Time to change from others advise...........
Sorry to everyone who I have pissed off......
Those who are pissed off at me, CC......sorry............
Really sorry....
Didn't know it'll be that bad.......too.........
Attitude problem..........I need to get rid of it.
Lets just say that I don't even deserve to be an SL......
But a change.......yeah....I'll need that
And to change, I'll need people to forgive and forget..........
For a change for the better, starting from tomorrow, so that it's not too late.
*sigh*
God, I beg for your forgiveness of my wrath on others....remove me of the wrath and make me a better person. Thank you.Amen
WHAT THE ****ING PROBLEM IS WITH ME? I SERIOUSLY NED TO CHANGE. STARTING FROM TOMORROW.
Too long I have ignore it.....too long and now.......just want to change and reflect.
Once again.....sorry for hurting those and pissing off people.....
Sorry CC
Sorry............
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EMPTY :: , 20:23
School ended early.....
Went for CCA first before going to hub, wanting to meet up with James first but since he is not there, I go and meet up with Eugene and Joshua to find out that CC is being held captive by Ms Wang.
Anyway, play with Joshua and Eugene for an hour dota before going back to school to find CC, then go LAN with him and play Fifa, then go arcade to play ID5.
My ID5 sucks man...got to learn handwork. Actually planning to use Mazda RX8 but now I got to test out Nissan Skyline GT-R to see which one I can control better.
Anyway, will be playing after mid-year, need to study for my mid-year.So not going out until mid-year is over.
......
Yeah......STUDY!....bored...
but no choice.
got to study.
who say I'm 读书的料.
*sigh*
ID5 is sure fun
3 cars I'm going to buy: Mazda RX8, Nissan Skyline GT-R and Toyota AE86
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EMPTY :: Sunday, April 12, 2009, 22:02
Just back from my "outing" after the service in church.
The activities and mass was SUPER wonderful....
Easter....no wonder it is so good.
Gonna find more people to drag along next time.
A TRUE AND PROUD CATHOLIC!!!
lols.....think I'm going crazy.
Anyway, tomorrow school dismissed at 0920, then got 1 hour choir before going out with CC.
Heh.....wonder will LAN let us in.
Or even.......
Sec school student no school?
LOLS....
Will see how the people in the LAN works....I mean their mind.
Lets just hope all is right....
Then tomorrow will be F.U.N!
Should I go to church tomorrow?
Maybe.
See if I got things to do.
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EMPTY :: Saturday, April 11, 2009, 17:44
Last minute funeral ritual for my god-sis......, go choir,then arcade and LAN with CC, then go home......
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EMPTY :: , 01:23
Wow....just came back not recently from my church activities.
Actually went back home after the first part ended and around 3pm went there again for part 2.
Did enjoy myself there. Felt peaceful....
Good Friday....
Tried to spot Ms Chia but failed.
Maybe it is because there is too many people here....
The mass for Good Friday was okay...
then afterward went home.
Then at 3pm went out to see the St Andrew Cathedral and attended it's mother tongue service. Weird arh? I'm a catholic and I go attend a service from an Anglican church.
Actually, no lah....Catholics and Anglican are almost the same.
Then went back to my church to continue the activities there.
Going there back Sunday for Easter.
And wow......I didn't expect the famous St Andrew Cathedral to be THAT big......lols
Going to sleep.....need to preserve my voice for tomorrow's audition.
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EMPTY :: Thursday, April 09, 2009, 19:56
Okay.....maybe here to clear some misunderstanding-if there is any.
"To be your friend was all I ever wanted; to be your lover was all I ever dreamed."
I'll just summarize it into 1 sentence.
All I wanted, was to be your friend,so yeah that was what I'm talking about yesterday about the waiting part.If there is no misunderstanding then leave it,ignore the top part.
So yeah....chem SPA....COMPLETELY SCREWED UP!!!!!!!!
QA done wrongly,VA done halfway....
Argh.........
FIRST TIME I DON'T KNOW HOW TO DO A PRACTICAL!!!!!!!
I think I'll get 0 le.
Some more counted in O level.
Need to get the last one right then bang on my theory......
20% gone........
Can do nothing about it
Anyway, congrats Cheryl....although you didn't win, at least you've tried
and congrats to all people who showcased their talents during the EL and humanities week
like one quote said by Mrs. Ess
Be human-feel
Don't know why
The song was nice- during assembly
clap together with the rest and enjoyed myself
Can say that everyday is a reflection day for me........
Moving mountains-Usher
It's like whatever I do,
Ooh
Just can't get through to you
Ooh, ooh
I'm never gonna tell anything wrong
Ooh, ooh,
Listen
Oh
Now, now she loved me, shawty I loved her
Used to jump up in the maybach and roll out
Used to care, she used to share
The love that she used to give me can't be found
I lost my way, she said she'd stay
And lately I've been sleeping with a ghost
My stock is down and out, I used to be worth my weight in gold
That was before a great depression kicked in and rocked us
And that was before the hurricane came in and stopped us
I told you to leave, but you lied to me
When you said that, baby no worries I promise to get us back
I know sorries, just wouldn't do it
Her heart is obliterated, I'm trying to travel through
But it's like moving mountains...
It's like moving mountains... hey.
But I keep climbing and hoping things would change
And the sky turns gray, and the water from the rain washes progress away.
It's like moving mountains... (moving mountains)
It's like moving mountains... (moving mountains)
Why just leave me?
Just leave me be
Just leave me
Just leave me be
Why you just leave me
Just leave me be
Why you just leave me
Just leave me be, ooh, ooh
Be, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoaaa, whoa
She, she don't touch me, I don't touch her
We rarely even ever say a word
I really want to give her everything she deserves
But the bad took away the good
She thinks that I'm full of it, arguments, always pissed, man I'm tired
Every kiss that I miss, girl you know I'm trying
You never believe when I say, and I never believe it when you say
I love you, and I shouldn't complain about it
I should take it like a man and walk up out it
Cause we will never be the same, ooh
I've been standing in gas and you have been the flame
I know sorries just wouldn't do it
Her heart is obliterated, I'm trying to get through
Got to move this mountain... yeah
It's like moving mountains... hey
But I keep climbing and hoping things would change
And the sky turns gray, and the water from the rain washes progress away
It's like moving mountains... (moving...)
It's like moving mountains... (moving...)
Well baby why you just leave me?
Just leave me be
Just leave me
Just leave me be.
Why you just leave me
Just leave me be
Why you just leave me
Just leave me be, ooh
This must be a slow death that I'm travelin' on
It feels so wrong, I'm barely holdin' on...
See no matter what it takes, I've gotta get it together, baby yeah
And these hills that I'm travelin' up
She ain't showin me love
I'm down on my love
Oooh, I'm down
Whoa
I know sorries just wouldn't do it
Her heart is obliterated, I'm trying, I'm trying my boo
But it's like moving mountains... ey
It's like moving mountains... (moving these mountains) hey
But I keep climbing and hoping things would change
And the sky turns gray, and the water from the rain washes progress away
It's like moving mountains... (I'm trying)
It's like moving mountains...
Well baby why you just leave me?
Just leave me be
Just leave me
Just leave me be
Why you just leave me
Just leave me be
Why you just leave me
Just leave me be, ooh
Baby, baby
Whoa, yeah
I've missed the fun times we had.....
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EMPTY :: Wednesday, April 08, 2009, 22:15
I'm not gonna forget you......
but I've moved on and be happy, calm whatever I'm like in the past.
just only waiting........waiting for you to cool and hope all is well
Tomorrow is chem SPA.....
still don't know what to do.......
gonna take things one step at a time.
Today's performance was quite okay, only thing is i nearly laughed when the floor clapped at the wrong moment xD
Other than that, all seems fine.......
and I do hope we'll get a Gold
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EMPTY :: Tuesday, April 07, 2009, 23:42
I'll live life like before......
I'll live a happy,calm life.......
I'll find back my previous self.....the one that I have fun in..........
Fun......
the words seems so vague now.....
but I know it's gonna be great.
Tomorrow got performance during assembly....rofl
Gonna do my best and enjoy what am I doing
I'll give you time to simmer down.Hope we can be friends again.
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EMPTY :: Sunday, April 05, 2009, 22:06
throughout all these while I've been thinking......
I've only 1 question for you: What did I do wrong?
Did I do anything wrong at all?
I hope you can tell me the answer......
I need this answer before I can really move.....yeah will try to do it asap
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EMPTY :: , 17:03
I'm tired......gonna just close my eyes and rest
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EMPTY :: , 14:51
"If I count how many times
you've crossed my mind in my entire life,
I'd be lying if I said it was too many
cause you only crossed my mind once,
why? You never left ... "
"Who do you turn to when the only person
who can stop you from crying
is the one who is making you cry?"
I knew from the start......it will be like that
it just ended with a teardrop.......
Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth.
Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same.
And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I--
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
I guess.....I'll have to travel this path alone with Papa.........
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EMPTY :: , 13:25
Just came back from qing ming.....
visited sis after paying my respects to my ancestors.....
and I think the time has come to say if not it'll be too late.......
now doing my last homework which is E and A maths......
"You justify my existence ... if i have not known you,
I wouldn't have lived, if I die with out knowing you,
I wouldn't die cos I didn't live at all .."
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EMPTY :: Saturday, April 04, 2009, 23:02
Going to sleep......zzz
last minute blogging cos I got to wake up like 4am!
anyway, went out with mahendran to plaza singapura for a while........
Going to visit sis tomorrow.....
Still thinking and waiting........
Why is the world such a difficult place to understand?
People are difficult to comprehend since I've lost my former self......
searching high and low.....but to no avail.
*sigh*
too many activities cancelled......too boring...
nothing to do except study and listening to music........
I'll see after qing ming if I can get anyone to hang out with, if not I'll do a deep thinking at home.....philosophy.
Wondering lots of things now...........
Arrgh....my head hurts
Why must it be so difficult.
Oh ya....SYF got to compete with 129 schools......-.-"
Hope we are able to get a silver.....but I'll prefer a gold
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EMPTY :: , 13:18
yeah.....it was my fault.....my fault for doubting
and SOMEONE destroyed my freaking self esteem this morning.......wtf
if you want to exclude me out, then say......I've learned very hard how to sing and yet you come out with this comment........your words are too sharp......
I'm not angry at you or what, but at myself....why couldn't I just do it? SYF is like less than 2 weeks and I still don't know if I would pass my last audition on Tuesday.......
But I will regain the confidence again because of someone...........
Mid-year is coming and my higher Chinese sucks......I got to meet up with Ms Su for help......wth(everyday for 20 mins.)
Oh well....what to do?Studies are important........
Yeah...saw the scouts today, don't know what event they preparing but I guess it is like campfire like that because we were occupying the theaterette(we exceeded our time fram XD) and they were like saying they are going to set up fire there......after that, Mr Chen joked that we're going to have a blazing performance.......
Maybe I'm going back to school.....just to see what are they doing
Maybe I'll stay at home
and wth....tomorrow is qing ming(for my family) and I need to wake up damn early to pay respects to my ancestors....after that, I'm going to visit sis(my parents doesn't know about it)then maybe going out with someone....don't know if I can pull people along....you know staying at home is boring.......
yeah.....that's for all.....
.......
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EMPTY :: Friday, April 03, 2009, 23:00
Just read my Cheryl's last year class blog.......
All seems so fun.....the memories were sweet......
You know what? I want to say that 1I'08, YOU ARE THE BEST CLASS I'VE ORIENTATE SO FAR.......Thank you for making that day a memorable one for me....will miss you all loads.....
Now 2I'09, all seems so different.....people come and go
most people's personality also changed......now I only know about a handful of them......
*sigh* that is the cruelty of life.......
Just looking back at their pictures made my heart melt.....and this will be one of the memories I would like to keep.......
So yeah.....just blogging since tomorrow got choir and weekends don't have much time or not even have the time to blog......
Thinking of the past....remembering the present....all feels different.
Like you. When you first come to this school, you were quite close.....after that you have opened up and we managed to exchanged a few words.....while I had a great time with others, I did not forget you and the rest who are shy........
and now, you have grown up and somethings had changed......
So yeah.....all these memories are sweet....but some, which I don't know whether will happen or not, will be bitter....cos it's pain....
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EMPTY :: , 18:27
Today sports day was fun...( I felt my sis with me....singing with me and talking to me) yeah.....so do the cheer, sing along with the songs played and then went with CC to arcade.....saw Zack, Ishan and Wenyi......
But along the way while looking for them, I got so hungry that I got to go to Subway to eat..........I saw you.....saw you three times.....why?
then after Zack, Ishan and Wenyi left, I decided to follow CC to LAN and after that accompany him to arcade for a while since I'm bored......and hurt.one of the reason why sports day was great is you.
Yeah.....so Friday was not a good day, although the sports day was great.........
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EMPTY :: Thursday, April 02, 2009, 22:10
melancholic...........................
what's there to say?
nothing..........
retreating back...............
will I be back outside? I don't know
cos I'm melancholic
since the day you came, I've always tried......
why? Just 1 simple reason: I don't want to lose you. It just hurts
..............
Melancholic.........never to be heard again
melancholic.........too painful of a price to pay
Maybe I just suck at it..............
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EMPTY :: , 19:51
Thank you Papa.....
you've brought Mr. Lee to tell me check out the new books and make me find the book called "The Shack"
After reading it, I understand why you did all these and why you didn't prevent sis's misfortune.
I know that this is the message you want to tell me.....Thanks for that.
First, you brought Yinghan to help me when you know that the teachers don't understand anything.
Then you brought in Mr. Lee and finally, I've seen your message in the book, what you want to tell me......
I'm sorry for causing so much hurt during that time where the Great Sadness had descended on me.....I hope everyone can and will be able to forgive me......
I will continue to fulfill what you want me to do.........
I hope to continue to spread the message down that you, Papa loves everyone......
even if they are murderers,criminals.....they are still your children and you want to redeem them.
I have stopped thinking about it and since I've gotten your message, I'm feeling lighter.....the Great Sadness has departed........
What you have said is true-there is no love if you force......nowadays law and rules had made people turned evil....they chose independence.....the world has slowly beginning to lose love in their lives....
I hope Your spirit can be with me.....guide me, there is more I need to learn....
I will not use rules and laws anymore......I will love others like they are my friends....even if they have committed a sin or crime because forgiveness is the first step to clear your soul....to start loving people....
Yes...all these may sound too weird....or even impossible to do if anyone of you read it but I'm trusting Papa........
I'll trust him no matter what happens.......
I want his life to help me.....to nurture me.......I hope to be able to live with him....side by side......
The world was created with goodness....there is no evil
Evil is a word coined by humans when they don't receive any good....all negative words are coined by humans.......
there is no noun....only verbs and noun destroys the meaning of the verb, one example is the verb expectancy....it had become a noun-expectation, which completely destroys the meaning of the verb....
Papa....I will live life as supposed......I'm not afraid of loneliness.....maybe someone I do not want to lose.....I want her to accompany me on this journey with you. I'd promise I'll protect at all cost.....
With you around.....nothing is impossible
Impossible is made up of a sentence-I'm possible
So everything is possible......
had lots of thoughts yesterday about loss......too painful to think of it anymore.....
This song truly reflects part of my thought:Everybody's Changing by Keane
You say you wander your own land
But when I think about it
I don't see how you can
You're aching, you're breaking
And I can see the pain in your eyes
Says everybody's changing
And I don't know why
So little time
Try to understand that I'm
Trying to make a move to stay in the game
I try to stay awake and remember my name
But everybody's changing
And I don't feel the same
You're gone from here
And soon you will disappear
Cause everybody's changing
And I don't feel right
So little time
Try to understand that I'm
Trying to make a move to stay in the game
I try to stay awake and remember my name
But everybody's changing
And I don't feel the same
So little time
Try to understand that I'm
Trying to make a move to stay in the game
I try to stay awake and remember my name
But everybody's changing
And I don't feel the same
Yeah....my thoughts......Thank you once again Papa......and everyone who had helped me.
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EMPTY :: Wednesday, April 01, 2009, 21:23
What are words without meaning? Why are people saying one thing and mean another thing? I just don't get it.
Maybe I'm the one that ask too much.....maybe it is all my fault....
I've tried....I've tried everything I could......yes I admit my childhood was terrible, I grew up in a place where there is little love, atmosphere was always tense. I've already grew up in that environment and I'm trying to change, to change so that people will accept me, but why people just can't accept who I am?
I just want to protect everyone....."Two roads diverged in the middle of my life, I heard a wise man say:I took the road less traveled by and that made all the difference-Robert Frost"
I took the road that is less traveled....it was a lonely one, but I've found someone to accompany me. I do not know how long will this last but I'm already quite grateful to God....I hope this will continue, I just hope it will not end. I want to protect you, but will you give me a chance? I don't know....as I'm writing this, my heart is aching, I'm trying to hold back my tears, my emotions......but I just want you to be happy, to be protected, and I love you a lot, no matter how much you've change, physically, emotionally or mentally, I would like to protect and take care of you.....
I'm always seen as being pessimistic but it is really that I'm letting time heal my wounds but all that is left are scars-scars from my past. I'll like to be a person that everyone like, like some of my friends.....but the loneliness of the journey had took a toil on me. I'll continue until I can't take it, until the last moments of my life. If you read this, all I want to say is give me a chance, I'll make sure you live happily and not suffer so much in the future. Walk the path with me, I'll guarantee that you'll never be heartbroken-never again be heartbroken. I hope you can see how much I'm trying to change.
Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth.
Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same.
And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I--
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
This is the complete poem from Robert Frost-The road not taken
Lots of thoughts in my mind while doing work......
This picture, what does it tell you? How do you feel about it?
Pictures paints a thousands words, actions adds meaning to words......
My thoughts on that picture?
I don't know how to put it.....
maybe I'm just too confused.....too confused right now
but still I got to do my work...
Will ponder on that when I'm in bed.
"Love begins with a smile, grows with a kiss, and ends with a teardrop."
"Love never dies a natural death. It dies because we don't know how to replenish its source. It dies of blindness and errors and betrayals. It dies of illness and wounds; it dies of weariness, of withering, of tarnishing."
"The saddest and hardest thing in the world, is loving someone who used to love you."
"Ever has it been that love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation."
"Real loss only occurs when you lose something that you love more than yourself."
"Looking back, I have this to regret, that too often when I loved, I did not say so."
"If you love someone, tell them...for hearts are often broken by words left unspoken."
"You justify my existence ... if i have not known you,
I wouldn't have lived, if I die with out knowing you,
I wouldn't die cos I didn't live at all .."
"Who do you turn to when the only person
who can stop you from crying
is the one who is making you cry?"
"It takes only a minute to get a crush on someone,
an hour to like someone and a day to love someone -
but takes a lifetime to forget someone"
"The essential sadness is to
go through life without loving.
But it would be almost equally sad to leave this world
without ever telling those you loved that you love them."
"It takes a minute to find a special person,
an hour to appreciate them,
a day to love them and a lifetime to forget them."
"If I count how many times
you've crossed my mind in my entire life,
I'd be lying if I said it was too many
cause you only crossed my mind once,
why? You never left ... "
All these........
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EMPTY :: , 19:28
Today is just so dash unlucky.
I'm victimized by 2 people.....who want to target Shriram.
Just right today Shriram was sitting opposite of me and then it was raining tissue papers.....damn
IF he was not there at that time(like how everyday is), I would not have been hit by the tissue papers.......
So I was damn freaking angry because Shriram had caused so much trouble once he sat down.
I will never allow him to pass that area again.
and 2 people were talking so loudly until 2I can hear it....they decided to "announce to the whole world" that Shriram had been attacked by the tissue paper and me being victimized....
dotz....
Everyone in 2I was like staring out of the window, wondering what the commotion was all about.....
wth, caused me so much embarrassment....
yeah......come here and clear all the misunderstanding....hope that you all understand....yeah means Cheryl please tell your classmates if your class ask. Thank you.
Yeah....and today's lesson was damn bored.....
need to do A math homework or else I'll suffer under AWK's wrath....it is too unbearable and I don't want to try it.
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