2 months........ since you are gone, I hadn't been able to fill the void in my heart..... It is just really too much....... But Gina needs you more...... I can see that...... your good friend is really not doing any good....... We are not...... It is really too much of a blow for us to lose you...... I will visit you soon...... The trip to the IMH is really not good..... nearly got stuck there for life........ But I can't be stuck there..... I need to take care of sis...... I need to be here, so I can take care of her....... Mernel...... we all really miss you...... Gina, stay strong...... we will be better......... we will.......... I'm not sure........ But one thing for sure....... I will always miss you......... Mernel..... we will always miss you.........
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EMPTY :: , 08:55
Sis, went to visit you last week....... help you wipe your face and talk to you....... since Gina is celebrating her birthday, I have come to visit you....... wonder now how are you.......... Can you come and visit me soon........ Do visit Gina soon, she misses you a lot....... we do Mernel, we miss you a lot......... we really do.......
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EMPTY :: Sunday, November 16, 2008, 16:19
Still can't forget you sis....... I can still remember the times we had, these happy memories will always be with me...... I remember the time when I told you I've join dance...... you were laughing after you heard me....... you said I can't dance..... but you offered to teach me....... at that time, we were having our dinner at your house void deck...... I told you that I will prove to you that I can dance and every practice, I looked forward to learn some steps to prove you wrong....... but you are right, I can't dance........ I still hold on and I remembered that you once asked me how many guys are there and when I told you I was the only guy, you looked kind of angry....... I sense that you are kind of jealous and told you that you will be my god-sister, my ONLY god-sister....... you cheered up after that and make me do a weird thing...... you ask me to promise you not to fall in love with anyone in my CCA........ Whatever I've promise you, I did it....... most of the time during CCA I did not look co-operative.... It is one of my promise to you sis, I promise you that I'd not get close with any girls in my CCA and I did it....... That's why I looked anti-social....... Still remembered the time during my practice for SYF, I did not get most of the moves right, the seniors asked me to practice but I did it not with any enthusiasm....... but after practice, I went to look for you...... I asked you to help me and you gladly agreed. I showed you the moves and together we danced together....... you teach me the steps I've got wrong and we even dance freestyle! These times I really enjoyed dancing....... it is like every CCA practice is like hell but practicing with you is such an enjoyable time........ we even did a duet, just for fun...... and once, your boyfriend came and saw us dancing duet, he mistakenly taught I was your boyfriend....... You explained and I clarified that I was only your god-bro....... after your boyfriend heard it, he laughed, we looked at each other and dragged him to dance with us........ The times with you is really fun..... We danced, and even crack jokes....... sometimes we even sing duet...... outsiders look at us and thought we were a couple....... but we were just god-bro and sis....... there was once when you refused to go home, say your parents were unreasonable...... I've got to come down in the wee hours and coaxed you to go home...... that was the time that took me nearly an hour to coax you...... although you made me promise you lots of things and somethings that are a little unreasonable, but I agreed anyway...... you are the ONLY god-sis that is close to me...... when you look for me and cried, I lend you a shoulder and coaxed you...... no matter what, you are my god-sis so I got to take care of you...... although slowly letting your boyfriend to do that, but no matter what, I'll still be your god-bro..... even if you fall out with your boyfriend or quarrel with him, you will never fail to look for me........ Mernel........ I know you want me to be strong..... to continue to live on, but...... it is just that I've owed you too much..... furthermore, I've caused your death because of my ignorance....... Now, I don't even dare to have any god-sis anymore, fearing that another life will be lost....... you once told me..... if someone need my help, I must help them..... you don't mind that I have another god-sis so long I don't neglect you....... but to say.... you are really the ONLY god-sis that is close to me...... not even my best friend is as close as you....... Mernel....... kor really miss you........ Let the memories be remembered....... let me protect you..... give your soul a warm home...... I will always be here...... waiting for you.........
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EMPTY :: , 10:10
1 month and 17 days......... since you left, I'd hadn't been able to fill up the void in my heart....... Sis...... come and visit me....... I've lots of things to tell you....... Kor really had a lot to tell you........ Mernel.......... come........ Kor really miss you a lot....... Had an appointment with IMH this Friday...... ....... I don't really care much........ anyway, I'm leaving soon....... Mernel...... Kor really miss you...... really miss you.........
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EMPTY :: Saturday, November 15, 2008, 22:46
I'm quite busy these few days, but I will, if I can't do it this year, go and visit you next year Mernel........ Although it will be a little difficult but I promise you that I will locate you. I will try all my best....... I will bring along all the necessities needed to see you....... I really hope I can continue to visit you....... sometimes..... things just does not go your way.......... ........ Mernel! My god sis, I'm missing you like hell!!!!!!!!!!! Mernel, Mernel, Mernel...... Be good, leave with a smile......
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EMPTY :: Sunday, November 09, 2008, 18:32
Nothing is going my way....... why........ just because I made a mistake and I'm condemned...... Going crazy soon because thinking of you, Mernel....... I'll be visiting you soon..... I will buy your favorite food along..... I'll try to bring everything you love to eat...... The sky is now very dark, the same as my world...... there is no light...... life can be a battle..... mine is like apocalypse...... It is really a struggle although I have many friends willing to help me...... but this...... I'll have no choice I got to face it alone...... against all odds....... the outcome of the battle is unknown...... maybe I should go to Vatican City to live...... everyday, go to church to pray....... I'm going in the battle, bruised and tired...... mustering my remaining perseverance, I will fight my last battle...... my last battle....... I really want to continue see this beautiful world..... but now, the world is tainted with evil..... murder, kidnapping case, raping, wars....... all these are the evil side of the world, of people...... The world is no longer beautiful...... I'm slowing losing the will to fight....... really too tired........ The battle is really long, and the longer it stretch, the faster my will will be sapped....... I still got to go back to school...... need to put on the mask of ignorance, the mask of "happiness". The cost of wearing one tires me out..... I don't feel like wearing, but I have no choice........ what choice do I have? since when I have the choice? I have no luxury of making a choice....... Heaven looks wonderful...... I'll want to go up there and take a look......... the song I want to dedicate to everyone is why by secondhand serenade
The buttons on my phone are worn thin I don't think that I knew the chaos I was getting in. But I've broken all my promises to you I've broken all my promises to you.
Why do you do this to me? Why do you do this so easily? You make it hard to smile because You make it hard to breathe Why do you do this to me?
A phrasing that's a single tear, Iis harder than I ever feared And you were left feeling so alone. Because these days aren't easy Like they have been once before These days aren't easy anymore.
Why do you do this to me? Why do you do this so easily? You make it hard to smile because You make it hard to breathe Why do you do this to me? To me, to me, to me...
I should've known this wasn't real And fought it off and fought to feel What matters most? Everything That you feel while listening to every word that I sing. I promise you I will bring you home I will bring you home.
Why do you do this to me? Why do you do this so easily? You make it hard to smile because You make it hard to breathe Why do you do this to me?
Why do you do this to me? Why do you do this so easily? You make it hard to smile because You make it hard to breathe Why do you do this to me? To me, to me, to me...
The lyrics looks beautiful...... It is one of the songs which have meaning...... there is a morale behind this song, and that is: Promises are meant to be kept,to be honored, if you can't keep one or honor one, then don't promise anything. It always hurts the other party when you break your promises to them....... Friends, I think before I really leave, I will give you all my message...... the message of life.... the philosophy of life..... etc..... I think it is my job to fulfill my own destiny before I leave...... to inculcate the value of life and it's philosophy....... in hoping to get rid the evil nature of human...... Gina, I know it is difficult to accept, but one must learn how to control...... You had a little bad habit and changing you will be difficult, but no matter what, I will do what I can as I believe that is what God wants me to do.......
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EMPTY :: Saturday, November 08, 2008, 23:45
thanks for everyone's concern..... but I think it is the time to pay for my sins..... I've sinned too much..... this incident..... I really sinned too much..... I'll leave it to fate..... I'll see where Fate brings me to..... but I know I will have to atone my sins...... Thank you...... mernel....... I will miss you dearly.......
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EMPTY :: Friday, November 07, 2008, 20:47
Mernel..... composed two songs for you...... 1 in chinese and the other in English...... how are you doing? I really miss you...... next time then I put the song and show you...... I would like to dedicate this song to you: Why by secondhand serenade
The buttons on my phone are worn thin I don't think that I knew the chaos I was getting in. But I've broken all my promises to you I've broken all my promises to you.
Why do you do this to me? Why do you do this so easily? You make it hard to smile because You make it hard to breathe Why do you do this to me?
A phrasing that's a single tear, Is harder than I ever feared And you were left feeling so alone. Because these days aren't easy Like they have been once before These days aren't easy anymore.
Why do you do this to me? Why do you do this so easily? You make it hard to smile because You make it hard to breathe Why do you do this to me? To me, to me, to me.
I should have known this wasn't real And fought it off and fought to feel What matters most? Everything That you feel while listening to every word that I sing. I promise you I will bring you home I will bring you home.
Why do you do this to me? Why do you do this so easily? You make it hard to smile because You make it hard to breathe Why do you do this to me?
Why do you do this to me? Why do you do this so easily? You make it hard to smile because You make it hard to breathe Why do you do this to me? To me, to me, to me.
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EMPTY :: Monday, November 03, 2008, 14:30
I appreciate all of your help but I will try to deal it myself as now, no one can help me. LYC, you tried to be the devil to help, yet you have forgotten that Mrs Thomas also did that way but instead of helping, it got worse........ I just think that if I tried to do it with some people's help, maybe I'm able to get myself out of this situation................ You all are quite helpful but what I need is someone who can really close my wound- my emotional wound....... the one that time can never heal......... I guess whatever the outcome is......... I just don't want you to grieve over it but take the message that I want to give to all of you all....... that is: Treasure the person close to you..... do not neglet them...........and take care of yourself...... if not, the person living will always be hit the hardest....... just like it hit me........ Mernel......... please grant my wish........ Thank you.......
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EMPTY :: Sunday, November 02, 2008, 21:31
I really miss you, mernel really miss you a lot....... had been thinking about the happy days...... the memories........ only you are the one who will practise dance with me, to dance with me........ I thank you for all you have done....... ........... really miss you, mernel....... miss you so much....... tomorrow I will come and visit you again........ hope you grant my wish....... mernel........ you will be my best god- sister among my 4 god sisters. You will be my best friend...... you will....... be remembered....... miss you...... really missing you so much........ dedicate the song "Fall for you" by secondhand serenade to you, my sis....... hope you are happy wherever you are right now...... Thank you...... mernel............. will pray for you......... one last message........ I REALLY MISS YOU, MERNEL!
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EMPTY :: , 00:10
All these pictures you've sent to me, it is still with me. Photos here, but person gone....... Why...... why it has to be that way? It still hurts...... my head, my heart....... I really don't know how long can I hold, I feel like I'm turning insane and I feel like........ taking an eternal rest...... I don't know........ I am feeling like a strong void sucking me into desperation...... Mernel...... how come you still have not visited me..... or maybe, it is my fault for not receiving you...... if it is the latter, I seek your forgiveness as I don't know how to communicate with you in my dreams...... I'm sorry...... really sorry...... You are really a very good person, but why is this happening........ why...... WHY........ ARGH.................. ............... really cannot stand it.......... .......... please.......... I seek your forgiveness............. All these while thinking of you........ thinking of your laughter....... your smile......... It is a month and 2 days passed........ but........ I still can't take it........ A month and 2 days....... I'll never see you smile again...... A month and 2 days....... I'll never hear you calling me "kor" again....... A month and 2 days....... I'll never get to hear your voice again....... A month and 2 days....... I'll never able to scold you, teach you right from wrong...... A month and 2 days....... I'll never be cheered up by you again...... A month and 2 days....... I'll never able to go out with you again........ A month and 2 days....... I'll never able to pick you up from school again....... A month and 2 days....... I'll never get to play with you again...... A month and 2 days....... I'll never be able to hear advice from you again...... A month and 2 days....... I'll never be able to attend your birthday party again...... A month and 2 days....... I'll never be able to see you happy again...... A month and 2 days....... I'll can never be able to called you....... A month and 2 days....... I'll never had you wishing me HAPPY BIRTHDAY...... A month and 2 days....... I'll never be able to have dinner and lunch with you...... A month and 2 days....... nobody to sing duet with me...... A month and 2 days....... nobody to practice dance steps with me...... A month and 2 days....... nobody to dance with....... A month and 2 days....... nobody give the the feelings you've given me...... A month and 2 days....... nobody to nag at me....... A month and 2 days....... nobody to confide my secrets to....... A month and 2 days....... nobody watch dramas with me anymore....... A month and 2 days....... I'll never be able to celebrate your birthday...... A month and 2 days....... nobody ask me what I want for my birthday....... A month and 2 days....... nobody to help me........ A month and 2 days....... you'll never nugde me and ask me to call you...... A month and 2 days....... nobody to calm me when I'm angry or nervous...... A month and 2 days....... you will never be able to celebrate my birthday with me anymore....... A month and 2 days....... you're gone......... and a month and 2 days....... I can't take it......... Sorry Mernel, if not I've insist on temporary keeping off contact with you for a year to study, if I had answered your call when you called me in the one year temporary off contact year- this year, then....... you'll still be here...... you will not be gone....... It is my fault....... if only....... I hope you'll forgive me...... sorry.......
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THE LONESOME SOUL
Goh Benjamin
I watch, i feel, from there i learn....through the colours of the world, i paint a beautiful picture that is far from the ugliness of reality
The world is an illusion, a painful one. Wishes You to be fine
Friends to be happy
To remember her, my god sister forever
World to be peaceful
And don't rip credits, thanks.
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