EMPTY :: Saturday, December 06, 2008, 23:10
67 days had passed after you left…….
Mernel went to visit you…… brought your favorite food along but sorry don’t have hotdog and caramel corn……
do you know how much I miss you?
everybody does…… especially me and Gina…….
she had lost a best friend and her boyfriend too…….
she needs help now…….
but I don’t know what to do…….
I understand her feelings as we had lost the same person….. That person is you…….
she is now in a fragile state and I don’t know what to do…….
the void in my heart is also not filled……. It just can’t be filled…….
I want to help her but we are in the same boat, it is very difficult for me…….
you just left like this……
we really miss you, Mernel……..
if you can see this, go to Gina’s dreams first and then come to mine……
you have promise to come and visit me again….. but go to Gina first……
she really needs you……
please, sis, please come and visit us…….
I don’t want to see Gina crumble…… it just pains to see her in this state…..
after going to her dreams to calm her…. come to mine…… tell me what must I do to help her…….
although she is just like a normal friend, not like us god-brothers and sisters but now, it feels like she is a close friend……
I don’t want to lose her……
I is just too much when I lose you, my god-sister…….
I don’t want to lose another friend to sorrow again……
now….. I don’t know what to do……
just live a day, and see how long can I hold on…….
but before I leave…. I want to make sure I’ve done my calling…….
make sure all of my friends are safe……
that’s my job…. to nurture them……
to make them stronger…..
but……
for Gina’s case, I’m really at a loss of what to do……
tell me, Mernel….. tell me….
what should I do?
my head and heart are aching…… very painfully……
but I, Gina and your other friends will remember you forever……
till death, I and Gina would continue to look for you…… to finish and do my job as an elder god-brother…….
for now, I am really hanging on a thin thread…… I don’t know what to do…….
memorial for you…… you will always be in our hearts……..
you will always be as pretty as ever….. you will always be my best god-sister……
no one can replace you…….
in our hearts…. you will always be the first…..
I can guarantee that even if I had a gf, or when next time I get married….. you will still be in my heart….. the very first place……… she would be second……
it is just too much……
too much to lose you……..
I would try my very best to name my daughter as you…… so as a way to remember you….. if I had 2 daughters in the future…. I would name the other one after your best friend…Gina……
you will always be missed by us……
now…….
Gina…… really needs your help……
go and calm her, then tell me what to do…..
then I can help her out……
we really miss you, Mernel…..
please come as often as you can….my door is open 24/7 for you……
I guess I would have to put a false front in front of Gina……
and maybe the teachers when I go back to school……
I do not know whether can I do it but I don’t want Gina just bottle her feelings inside……
it is a very painful feeling….. I’ve experienced it before…..
it is just like bleeding internally…. like now what I am going through…..
hope is all lost…..
I don’t want Gina to do it……
I do not know whether she can take it……
when you visit her, tell her she can tell me her problems….. just like you did before…..
I am here to help….
it is my calling…..
and this, especially my friend…….
the more I must do it…..
to protect their souls… to nurture them……
Gina’s one is really fragile…..
help me strengthen it…….
as you are her best friend…tell me what must I do to stop her from becoming like me……
I don’t mind to bear all the pain….. just let her live life strongly……
the saying is true: “The ones who live suffer the most”
I really don’t mind to bear all the pain…….
I just don’t want to see Gina in this state……
it really pains me to see her like that……
as it would pains me to see my friend suffering…..
tell me what must I do, Mernel, tell me how can I relieve Gina of the suffering she has…..
the blow she had received it really too much…. akin to what I am going through
it just breaks our hearts……..
I don’t know will I be able to stand……
just don’t want Gina to suffer the same thing…..
she has two void….. not like mine….. only one…….
and I got to find ways to lessen the blow she had received…. To fill her void partially……
Mernel……
do come……
I really got lots of things to tell you……
will come and visit you again soon…… if possible……
but for now……
what I and Gina want to tell you is we really miss you……
come and visit us……
we really need you……
It all ended in a teardrop. Empty
