EMPTY :: Wednesday, March 18, 2009, 20:10
Time-what is it?
Fate-what is it?
Can anyone tell me?
The feelings for you that I had for you since I get to know you better is growing strongly.......but why?I love you the way you are, how you care about others and their feelings.Your sacrifice is great for the sake of friendship...I can see that.But I don't want to lose you.I've already lost everything and I really don't want to lose you.It pains me that you are not taking care of yourself....and the reason I tell you in the other way....or the way that I seem not to care(or joking around) is because I don't want you to know yet....I fear of losing you just as I've lost Jiaen.....You are one thing that I'm clinging onto for hope.Ya,some people say that I'm too serious,can't joke around......but I've tried to learn how to be funny....how to humor you and entertain you.You know everyday how I felt?I'm always feared of losing you and the thought of it seem so real.I can't lose you.The songs I've put in my blog gives a message to you.Listen to the first few songs and you'll understand why I put those.I don't have a glamor and nice childhood but I'm trying to keep you happy,to make you laugh during the times we spent together. I don't know if you love me before but I just want to say,ya....I'm not a person who can humor a lot because I grew up in a sad environment.I'd tried to be as caring as possible and to be good.I'm always good but it seems that people don't understand me.I tried to humor you when you are bored but if I can't,then I'm really sorry.I've tried my best and did whatever I could.You could though trust me in 1 thing:"I will love you forever". I've always showed through my actions and I don't know what is your answer.If you were to give me a chance, I'll promise you that I will love you till the end,never would I break your heart though I am not a funny person.I know I'm inexperience in love but for the sake of you,I'm willing to do anything that will keep you happy and not sad.You are fragile,yes I know and I've tried every method to let you know that I love you-as indirectly as possible just because I fear of crashing down.I tear every time I thought of this. But I know the time has to come for you to decide.......so I'm trying to use these few months to let you accept me. I'm sorry if I don't know that you love me.I'm just bad at reading body language because I've been betrayed before and I'm learning how to trust people.But I've always trusted you, never one had I doubted you. I've decided to post here,but also don't really want you to read it.....it is just that complicated.......I'm confused.....I want you to read it...and yet I don't want you to read because if you know you are the one that I love, I don't know what will happen......I'm just too fragile.....but I'll protect the person I love....at all cost. Lastly, I want to tell you is: I love you
If you think I'm trying to create a sad post again....no this time is real.
It all ended in a teardrop. Empty
